Sonic the Hedgehog INSANE Talk Show
by lady-warrioress
Summary: Join me as I poke fun at the sonic characters. Discontinued.
1. Jet The Hawk

_A/N I know someone else probably already something like this but I felt like doing one myself. The chapters will be short and sweet. I got the idea from my sister who's doing a Star Wars one. Boy is it side splitting. Lol. Well here we go. My pathetic attempt. Hope you enjoy it. _

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog**_

"Welcome to the insane fanfiction talk show!" the host ,who also happens to be the author, shouted as a huge audiance goes wild with cheers and clapping. "Today we will be interviewing the characters from Sonic the hedgehog."

The crowd cheered again.

The host leaned back in her soft plush green chair and crossed her legs as she continued. "Our first victom- I mean guest- will be Jet the Hawk."

Crowd goes wild.

Jet appeared out of nowhere looking nervous.

The host leaned forward in her chair and said. "Hello Jet."

"Um hello?" he said still looking nervous. He's scared of the Host.

"How do you feel?"

"A little sick but fine."

"Oh," host nods with understanding. "It must suck to have the bird flu."

The crowd gasped.

Jet's eyes get huge. "I DO _NOT_ HAVE THE BIRD FLU!" he shouted as he sees the fear in the audiances eyes.

Host leaned back. "Stay away from me!" she screamed. "I might catch it!"

"I don't have bird flu!" he shouted again.

"Then why are you always sneezing?" the host asked.

Jet's face went red. "Well I.." he began to explain.

"You _do_ have bird flu!" the host screamed jumping onto her chair like she'd just seen a rat and hiding behind her notebook so only her green eyes could be seen. "Get away from me!"

"I dont _have_ bird flu!" he insisted again.

The host screamed and kicked him across the room. "Get away from me! I don't want it!"

He landed in the audiance who screamed and ran in terror.

"I don't-!" Jet began but two men in white suits with hoods and breath masks came out of nowhere and grabbed him under the arms. "Let's go," they said. "We can't have you spreading infectious diseases."

"I DON'T HAVE BIRD FLU!" Jet screamed as he was drug away.

When he was gone the host climbed off her chair and looked at the sofa where Jet had been sitting. "We need to disinfect something in here, Charlie!" she called to the man off screen.

_A/N That's if for now. My next victom will be... well that's a surprise. Yes I do know bird flu is a very serious matter. Jet did not have it for real.  
_


	2. Chris Thorndike

Chapter 2 Chris Thorndike

"Welcome to the insane fanfiction talk show!" the host shouted as a huge audiance goes wild with cheers and clapping. "Today we will be interviewing the characters from Sonic the hedgehog."

The crowd cheered again.

The host leaned back in her soft plush green chair and crossed her legs as she continued. "Our second guest will be Sora- I mean Chris Thorndike!"

More cheering and clapping.

Chris appeared on the couch.

"So Sor-I mean Chris," the host said leaning back in her chair and folding her arms. "How have ya been?"

Chirs eyes filled with tears and started crying. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he wailed. "Nobody loves me!"

The host raised an eyebrow. "What do ya mean?" she questioned.

"Whenever I go outside Sonic fans pelt me with tomatoes and chase after me with flame throwers!" he explained.

"Oh," the host handed him a tissue. "Oh, that's too bad."

Chris took the tissue and blew his nose. "Thank you," he said. He handed it back to the host.

"EWW!" she exclaimed. "I don't want it _back!"_

"Sorry." he dropped it on the floor.

The host made a disgusted face. "So what else have you been up to besides running from angry fans?" she asked.

"Trying to return to the world of my beloved Sonic!' Chris replied.

The host's face turned blue and her expression changed to an "ick" face. "Eh... uh huh," she said scooting back fUrther in her seat. "Oh really?"

"Yes!" Chris explained, his eyes filling with hearts. "Oh if only we could be together forever!"

"Chris," the host said bonking him on the head. "I don't want to hear anything about your sexual problems. Tell me something else."

"Uh...," Chris sat there for the longest time scratching his head. "I can't think of anything.."

"I can," the host said. "Why do you look so freakin much like Sora from Kingdom Hearts!"

"I don't!" Chris protested.

"Yes you do!" host held up picture of Sora. "Ya see!"

"Eh." Chris looks at her nervously. "I stole his design?"

Suddenly Sora from Kingdom Hearts breaks into the studio. "How dare you!" he shouted glaring at Chris. "You little Sora wanna be! You shall pay for stealing my looks!" Sora raised his keyblade. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!' he ran at Chris.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!" Chirs screamed jumping off the sofa a split second before Sora cut it in two.

"Hey!" the host shouted.

Sora ignored her. He chased Chris around the studio.

"Okay people," the host said looking nervously at the audiance as Sora and Chris ran around the the background smashing and running into stuff. "I think we'll have a comercial break right now as I try to calm Sora down."

The host jumped off her plush chair and ran after the two. "Hey! Stop this this instant! No rough housing in my studio! You keep that Keyblade away from me! AHHH! HELP!

_A/N_

_I have no idea. Chris just might be gay but I don't know for sure. He acts gay anyway. And yes he does look like Sora. No offence to Chris fans. _


	3. COMERCIAL

CHAPTER 3 COMERCIAL

Some weird animes play across the screen with subtitles and crap and then a huge ugly company logo appears over them along with the word; Censored.

Narator. "Hey people are you sick of your children watching animes with lotsa profanity?"

Image of Inuyasha episode with Kikyo calling him a bastard appears on screen.

"Are you sick of all the blood and gore?"

Yu Yu Hakusho episode where Kurama is being blown up by bombs with blood flying everywhere flashes before your eyes.

"Are you sick of them saying 'die' and 'kill' during the shows?

Sceen from the Garfield cartoon plays. XD

"Are you sick of smoking causing a bad example for your children?"

Image of Sanji from One Piece smoking appears on screen.

"Do you want puns to fill every second of the show just for humor at dramatic parts?"

Image of Kirby being attacked by a broom monster appears and Metaknight says something about him getting the brush off.

"Do you want lollipops to replace cigaretts?"

Image of Sanji smoking a lollipop appears.

"Do you want to totally screw up perfectly good anime with bad voice actors, deleted blood after someone just got their arm cut off, stupid theme songs, and messed up names?"

Sceens from One piece, SonicX, Winx Club, and Tokyo Mew Mew appear.

"Well then tell your kids to watch 4kids V! Where it's legal to make a fool out of wonderful shows and totally ruin the affect of intense and emotional scenes. Ask your doctor if 4KidsTV is right for your kids today!"

Big logo of 4Kids entertainment appears on screen as a message scolls over it.

"4Kids isn't right for everyone. Talk to your doctor if you experiense nightmares or bad pun attacks. Side effects are usually mild and can be cured by watching other dub programs like Funimation or Viz/Studiopolis."

Lame theme song plays "4Kidstv! 4KIDSTV!"

"Now back to our regularly schedualed program."

_A/N_

_What? I don't like that dubbing company. They ruined One Piece and Tokyo Mew Mew! And don't get me started on the Sonic anime voice actors! The only thing they dubbed well was the first Pokemon movie. Sorry if the comercial sucked. _


	4. Knuckles the Echidna

CHAPTER 4 Knuckles the Echidna

WAHAHAHA! Time to mess with someone else.

The channel switched back to the talk show studio. The host wasn't in her chair because she is kicking both Sora and Chris out of the studio but will they be back? Probably.

Finally the host returned to her chair and looked at the cameras. "Hello people welcome back to the fanfiction talk show," she greeted smiling fakily. "Our next guest I'm sure we all know since he's so obsessed with his giant gem. Please make welcome Knuckles the echidna!"

Crowd goes wild as the echidna walked onto the stage and sat down in the couch that is now replacing the other one. "Hello," he said waving at the audiance.

"So Knuckles?" the host asked who is currently in a bad mood and is out for blood. "Has Rouge been trying to steal your Emerald lately?"

"No now that you mention it," he said, thinking for a moment. "I think she finally gave up."

"That or," the host leaned forward. "She could have stolen it already and switched it with a huge fake."

"I..." Knuckles thought about that statement. "You know I never thought of that."

"Of _course _you didn't." the host said, throwing up her hands. "But I'm sure you would have noticed seeing how close you are to it."

"What?" he stared at the host like she was crazy. "What do you mean by that?"

"You're inlove with the Master Emerald aren't you?" shed questioned leaning her face dangerously close to his and smiling evilly. "If you could you would marry it wouldn't you? I bet you even have the children's names picked out."

Knuckles started sweating. "I... I DO NOT!" he shouted angrily as the rest of his face flared red.

"Oh really?" she said not believing a word. "Then why did you get so defensive and why is your face red and why did you beat up Bob Barker?"  
"I.. what?" Knuckles was confused. "Why did I beat up who?"

"Why did you beat up Bob Barker?" the host demanded.

"I _never_ beat up Bob Barker!" Knuckles exclaimed angrily. "And if I did it was because he was trying to use my Master Emerald as a show case prize!"

"So it all goes back to the Master Emerald," the host shook her head. "Shameful. The way you protect that thing. Maybe you _should _marry it."

"You gotta be freakin kidding me," Knuckles said folding his arms and glaring. "I never in my life have had a romantic relasionship with the Master Emerald."

"What about with Sonic?" the host asked slyly.

"That's besides the point!" thenhe realized what she was saying. "I what! I'm not in love with Sonic!"

"Then is must be Shadow!" the hosty corrected herself.

"What? No! I don't love Shadow either!"

"Espio?"

"No."

"Vector?"

"No!"

"Silver!"

"WHY DO YOU KEEP MENTIONING THE GUYS?" he demanded angrily. "Do you think I'm gay or something!"

"No soory. No offence," she thought a moment. "Fine then. Amy?"

"No?"

"Rouge?"

"No."

"Tikal?"

"No."

"Cream, Vanilia, Blaze, Wave, Cosmo, Lumina?"

"No to all of thee above! And don't even ask me about Jet, Storm, Julie Sue, Sera, Sally, Big, Omega, Tails, or Charmy!"

"I've got it!" the host said snapping her fingers. "Dr. Eggman!"

"Oh lord have mercy, no!"

"Why not?" the host asked. "You're so gullible he could trick you into doing anything."

"I am _not_ gulible!"

"Oh yeah okay then did you know the eyes in the potatos are watching you?"

Knuckles face filled with terror. "No," he said sweating. "They are?"

"No!" the host said. "Potatos are blind. They can't see anything. But I made my point. For a second you actually thought they had eyes "

"I did _not_!"

"You did too"

"I did not!"

"Look a flying saucer!"

Knuckles instantly swiveled around on the sofa. "Where?"

"Hshahahaaa!" the host laughed pointing at him. "Gotcha again!"

_A/N_

_What? He is gullable!_ _I wonder who I should do next. _


	5. Princess Sally

CHAPTER 5 PRINCESS SALLY

After a way too paranoid Knuckles left the stage the host looked back at the camera. "Hello people welcome to the fanfiction talk show," she greeted smiling fakily. "Our next guest is a princess from far away that a lot of people don't like because she's naked. Please welcome Princess Sally!"

Crowd goes claps politely as the chipmunk walked onto the stage and sat down in the couch that is now replacing the other one. "I am _not_ naked!" she shouted angrily, trotally offended by that remark.

"Shut up and sit down," the host ordered pointing at the sofa.

Sally, feeling as bit annoyed, sat down. "Hmph!"

"Now Sally," the host said folding her arms and crossing her legs. "How does it feel to be a squirrel Princess?"

Sally blinked. "I'm not a squirrell." she pointed out.

The host ignored her. "When you get mad at Sonic do you chase him around the room singing "Squirrely Wrath"?"

"I'm not a squirrel!" Sally shouted again. "I'm a chipmunk!"

"A stripper?" the host asked.

"I didn't say stripper!" Sally protested.

"Sure sounded like it to me,." the host said folding her arms.

"I'm not a stripper!" Sally shouted.

"Then why do you walk around naked?" the host demanded.

"I'm an animal."

"So? Amy, Rouge, Blaze, Wave, Cream, Tikal, and Vanilla are animals and they don't run around naked."

"Well that's them."

"Oh I see why you do," the host said grinning evilly. "You're a hooker."

Sally's eyes got real big. "I AM NOT A HOOKER!" she shouted.

"Coulda fooled me," the host said taking in Sally's knee high blue boots and her open vest. "Only hookers like to show off what they got." she poked Sally's chest. "Though in your case that isn't much."

"I AM NOT A HOOKER!" the princess yelled again.

"Then zip this up!" the host said reaching over and zipping up Sally's vest so her chipmunk boobs were covered. "If you're not a hooker then you don't need to be showing those off."

"Hey!" Sally shouted, now totally offended. "I'll have you know I'm a princess and I can dress how I want."

"Oh you're a spoiled brat and you need to be disciplined?" the host asked, holding up a paddle. "I'll be happy to do so!"

"No!" Sally screamed jumping off the sofa and backing away from the host, who was coming after her like a shark after it's prey. "Hey, there's no need for that!"

"Are you telling me what to do on my show? MY SHOW!" the host demanded her whole face dark except her eyes which were glowing white.

"Oh no! No, no, no, no," Sally objected backing away even further. "I would never _dream_ of doing that!"

"You don't sound so sure," the host said looming over Sally with dripping fangs. "Let me just make sure you are sure!" She lunged.

Sally screamed and ran.

_A/N_

_Actually Sally isn't too bad. She annoys me but that's about it. lol. No offence to her or her fans. If you like her that's okay with me. _


	6. Rouge The Bat

Chapter 6 Rouge The Bat

After the Host finally stopped chasing after Princess Sally and after the chipmunk princess left, the host returned to her chair. "Sorry for the delay," she said to the people at home as she looked into the camera. "Now to introduce our next guest. She's a glamorous thief who just can't keep her hands to herself. Please give a big round of applous for Rouge the bat!"

The crowd cheered as Rouge came strutting into the room. Some of the fanboys tossed her some flowers and their phone numbers. "We love you Rouge!" they shouted.

The bat girl giggled and blew kisses. Some of the boys fainted.

"Rouge," the host said, feeling jealous. "Please take a seat." she patted the couch across from her.

"Oh very well," the bat girl said turning from her adoring fans and sitting down on the sofa.

"So, Rouge," the host said. "What do you do to get the boys to fall in line behind you so easily? What's you're secret."

Rouge smiled and crossed her leg. "Well sugar it comes easy for me," she replied.

The host raised an eyebrow. "Easy?" she asked. "How is it easy?"

Rouge pointed to her chest. "It helps to have some of these," she replied.

The hosts eyes twiched. "Boobs?"

"Yep," Rouge replied, going into a Charo pose. "The bigger the better I always say!" Suddenly she asked. "Wanna hear a song about them?"

"Not really," the host said.

"Aw c'mon," the bat girl presisted. "It'll be fun."

"If you're a man," the host replied. "Or a lesbian."

Rouge ignored her and stood up on the sofa. She pulled out a mike then started moving around like a belly dancer and started singing a song by the Black Eyed Peas. The men waved their arms to the music.

_What you gon' do with all that junk?_

_All that junk inside your trunk?_

_I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,_

_Get you love drunk off my hump._

_My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,_

_My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)_

_I drive these brothers crazy,_

_I do it on the daily,_

_They treat me really nicely,_

_They buy me all these ices._

_Dolce & Gabbana,_

_Fendi and NaDonna_

_Karan, they be sharin'_

_All their money got me wearin' fly_

_Brother I ain't askin,_

_They say they love my ass 'n,_

_Seven Jeans, True Religion's,_

_I say no, but they keep givin'_

_So I keep on takin'_

_And no I ain't taken_

_We can keep on datin'_

_I keep on demonstrating._

_My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)_

_You love my lady lumps (love),_

_My hump, my hump, my hump (love),_

_My humps they got you,_

_She's got me spending._

_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me._

_She's got me spendin'._

_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me_

_What you gon' do with all that junk?_

_All that junk inside that trunk?_

_I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,_

_Get you love drunk off my hump._

_What you gon' do with all that ass?_

_All that ass inside them jeans?_

_I'm a make, make, make, make you scream_

_Make you scream, make you scream._

_Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what)._

_My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)_

_I met a girl down at the disco._

_She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go._

_I could be your baby, you can be my honey_

_Let's spend time not money._

_I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,_

_Milky, milky cocoa,_

_Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight._

_They say I'm really sexy,_

_The boys they wanna sex me._

_They always standing next to me,_

_Always dancing next to me,_

_Tryin' a feel my hump, hump._

_Lookin' at my lump, lump._

_You can look but you can't touch it,_

_If you touch it I'ma start some drama,_

_You don't want no drama,_

_No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama_

_So don't pull on my hand boy,_

_You ain't my man, boy,_

_I'm just tryn'a dance boy,_

_And move my hump._

_My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,_

_My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump._

_My lovely lady lumps (lumps)_

_My lovely lady lumps (lumps)_

_My lovely lady lumps (lumps)_

_In the back and in the front (lumps)_

_My lovin' got you,_

_She's got me spendin'._

_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me._

_She's got me spendin'._

_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me._

_What you gon' do with all that junk?_

_All that junk inside that trunk?_

_I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,_

_Get you love drunk off my hump._

_What you gon' do with all that ass?_

_All that ass inside them jeans?_

_I'ma make, make, make, make you scream_

_Make you scream, make you scream._

_What you gon' do with all that junk?_

_All that junk inside that trunk?_

_I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,_

_Get you love drunk off this hump._

_What you gon' do wit all that breast?_

_All that breast inside that shirt?_

_I'ma make, make, make, make you work_

_Make you work, work, make you work._

_(A-ha, a-ha, a-ha, a-ha) x4_

_She's got me spendin'._

_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me_

_She's got me spendin'._

_(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me._

_Will.i.am_

_So real x17_

When she was done she looked at the boys in the audiance and winked. Most of the men fainted while the lesbians drooled.

_A/N_

_What? Rouge is top heavy. I couldn't think of anything else to talk to Rouge about. I'm not making fun of any lesbians or anything like that. lol._


	7. Amy Rose

**_MAJOR NOTE OF CORRECTION: Some dude thinks I got this idea from him Wingless Rain but he is lying. If he read the beginning of the story in distinctly says I got the idea from my SISTER'S one fanfic Oribella (Her was Star Wars related) If you don't believe me you can see for yourself. This author seriously must have a reading problem because it was right there at the top of the page before the story started. Wingless Rain must want to take credit for this but he's lying. Don't believe him because I know where I got my ideas he doesn't because he doesn't even KNOW me. _**

CHAPTER 7 AMY ROSE

_Note: Due to how short Rouge's interview was, She will be returning to the show in a later chapter._

After Rouge was carried out of the studio by love struck fans the host returned from her potty break and sat down on her plush green hosts chair. "Welcome back," she said to the camera. "Our next guest is a love struck pinky who's always chasing the blue dude who fears her. Please welcome Amy Rose!"

The crowd cheered as Amy came out from the dressing room area behind the stage and sat down on the couch.

"Hi," she said to everyone.

"Amy," the host said. "How comes you always chase after Sonic?"

"It's easy," Amy said her eyes turning into hearts. "I love him and he loves me back!"

"If he loves you so much why does he always run away from you?" the host questioned.

Amy blushed. "Oh, he's just shy," she said in a squeaky voice before she went into a fit of giggles.

The host raised an eyebrow. "Shy eh?" she said. "What makes you think he's shy?"

"Because he runs away from me," Amy replied.

"And why does he run away from you?"

Amy was getting annoyed. "Because he's shy."

"So he's shy so he runs away from you and he runs away from you because he's shy?" the host asked "Sounds like thinking in a circle to me."

"Hey!" Amy exclaimed pouty. "We're not discussing circular reasoning here. You're interviewing me."

"Okay then." the host said. "How would you react if you found out Sonic was flirting with other girls?"

"Sonic would never flirt with other girls," Amy replied confidently. "He loves only me."

"Oh yeah?" The host asked. "What if you found out he was cheating on you with Shadow?" (I do not support Sonadow but for some reason that's very popular).

Amy stared at me. "Sonic's cheating on me with Shadow?" she asked.

"No," the host replied. "I'm just asking what you would do if you ever found out he was."

Amy crossed her arms. "I would seriously hunt Shadow down and do him bodily harm," she replied without hesitation.

"What would you do to Sonic?"

"Take him to church."

The host was confused. "To church?"

"Yeah so I can ask God to forgive me for what I'm about to do to him," she replied with fire in her eyes.

"Umm Amy," the host said not wanting to hear anymore. "Do you want some pie?" she held up a pie.

Amy stopped talking and looked at the pie. "Oh pie!' she exclaimed, grabbing it and biting into it. "Apple cinimon my favorite!"

"Okay then," the host said. "Let's continue."

Amy ignored her and kept on eating the pie.

"Miss Rose could you please set that down for a moment so we can continue?" the host asked.

Amy looked up at her annoyed then again returned to her pie.

"Okay that's it," the host grabbed the pie pan and started to pull it away from the hedgehog. "Enough pie."

"NO!" Amy shouted like a little girl, grabbing the other side of the pie tin. "Mine! My pie! Get your own!"

"Hand it over," the host ordered.

"NO! NO! NO!" Amy shouted. "MINE! MINE! MINE!" with her last 'mine' she let the pie tin go and it splattered all over the hosts white dragon shirt. She stared at the stain with wide eyes. "Oops," she said.

The host looked up at her angrily. "You ruined my shirt," she said in a deadly calm voice. "Now you're gonna get it."

"Uh uh uh," Amy said backing away. "I'm sorry."

"GET OUT OF MY STUDIO!" the host screamed swinging at Amy with a huge medevil ax.

Amy dodged the ax and went running. "Sonic!" she screamed, tears running down her cheeks as she ran off of the stage,. "I'm going to tell Sonic on you!"

_A/N_

_And that's Amy Rose. I have a strange sense of humor as you can see._


	8. Sonic The Hedgehog

CHAPTER 8 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

Not even five minutes later who should storm into the studio but Sonic the hedgehog himself. He stomped over to the host and demanded. "Did you make Amy cry?"

"Sonic," ther host said smiling. "Just the rodent I wanted to see." she patted the couch. "Have a seat, my good rat."

"I'm not here for a nice chat!" he exclaimed. "I'm here to find out why you made Amy cry!"

"So, Sonic," the host said ignoring his attitude. "Is it true that you put butter on your feet to run faster?"

Sonic stared. "What? No!" he absently sat down on the couch. "What would make you ask such a thing?"

"I've always wondered what made you run so fast," the host said shrugging. "And if it's not butter then maybe its banana peals."

"Banana peals? No way!"

"Then how do you run so fast?"

"I was born this way."

"No way!"

"Way!"

"No way!"

"Way!"

"No way!"

"Are you some kind of valley girl?"

"No."

"Okay," Sonic said. "I was just checking."

"Speaking of Amy," the host said suddenly.

"When were we talking about Amy?" Sonic asked, confused.

"Just now," the host said. "Anyway. Amy always seems to be wherever you are. Do you think she's some kind of stalker?"

"Stalker?" Sonic said. "Amy's a lot of things but _not_ a stalker."

"So she wouldn't know how to get into your house then," the host said.

"No she wouldn't."

"Hmmm," the host held up a picture. "Then who took this?"

Sonic leaned forward the get a better look at the picture. It was one of him in the shower. Sonic blushed. "Uh...," he said. "Where did you get this?"

"Oh that," the host said folding her arms and looking away. "I picked Amy's pocket when she was here. That was in her pants." (She was wearing her Sonic Riders outfit).

Ther blue hedgehog sweatdropped. "Amy took this?" he asked.

"Yep," the host said grinning.

Suddenly Sonic was looking very angry. "Amy took this?!" he demanded. "I bet she got help from Sally and Breezy didn't she? I knew I shouldn't have given them keys!

"I wouldn't know," the host said shrugging. "Wait. You gave Sally and Breezy keys to your house?"

The blue hedgehog didn't answer that question. Sonic got up. "Well... we'll see about that!"

_A/N_

_Amy does seem like a Sonic Stalker. _


	9. Big the Cat

Chapter 9 BIG THE CAT

The host tried to call Sonic back but he ignored her. Finally she gave up and sighed. "All well," she said. "That just means we can move on to our next guest." She smiled at the crowd and said. "Everyone please welcome Big the cat!"

Big, the fat cat, came stumbling into the room shouting. "Froggy! Where are you?!"

"Oh Big!" the host called, waving to him. "You're here! Please have a seat!"

"I can't!" he called to her, looking under things. "I have to find Froggy."

"Sit down and I'll tell you where Froggy is!" the host said folding her arms and looking impatient.

He looked up at her. "You will?" he asked.

The host nodded. "Yes," she said. "Now please sit down."

"Okay." Big walked over to the couch and sat down in it. The couches supports groaned under his weight then broke. "Oops." he said his cheek turning red. "I made a boo boo."

"A boo boo?" the host snickered. "How old are you? Five?"

"No," Big said scratching her head. "I think I'm eighteen but I can't be too sure." he noticed candies on the table between them. "Oooo candy corn! Let me help you to finish it!"

Before the host could protest he grabbed the candy corn and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Uh... by all means help yourself..." the host said nervously, afraid he might shovel her in next.

"Thanks I will," he said shoveling more into his mouth.

"So uh Big," the host said watching the fat cat stuff his face. "Caught any good fish lately?" Big's eating habits have caused the hosts's mind to go blank.

"Oh it's fine," he said stuffing his pie hole. "I caught a big trout the other day."

"A big trout?" the host asked. "How big?"

"I think it weighted a ton," he said scratching his head. "It sure had pointy teeth."

"Pointy teeth?" the host asked. "THAT WASN'T A TROUT! IT WAS A SHARK!"

"Whatever it was it was delicious." Big said smiling and stuffing more into his mouth.

"No wonder you're so fat," she observed.

"Who called me fat?" Big asked.

"I did," the host said annoyed. "You're a big fat hog!"

"I AM NOT!" Big wailed eating more candy corn. "I'm just big boned."

"STOP EATING MY CANDY CORN!" the host yelled, picking up her medevil ax and swinging it at him. "You are eating all the time! You're always eating and you're stupid!"

"Stupid?"

"Yeah STUPID! A big fat dense!"

"You shouldn't talk mean like that," Big said. "It could hurt someone's feelings."

"I don't care about feelings when it's the truth!" the host said. "Big boned is just another name for fat!"

"It is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!" Big wailed bursting into tears and running out of the room. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! I hate you!"

When he was gone the host blinked then said. "And I was about to give him Froggy too." she shrugged. "All well. I guess I could just cook the little sucker."

_A/N_

_Big IS stupid. _


	10. Cream The Rabbit

CHAPTER 10 CREAM THE RABBIT

"Well," the host said after the clean up crew got her a new couch and filled the glass bowl with a fresh supply of candy. "I think it's about time to welcome our next guest. She's a little rabbit who can fly by use of her big floppy ears and treats her Chao friend like a slave. Please welcome Cream the Rabbit!"

Cream walked timidly out of the backroom, giving the audiance a shy smile as they clapped and cheered. She wouldn't have been in such a nice mood if she head heard the host's comments which she hadn't which was all for the best anyway. "Hello," she said, waving.

"Cream, have a seat," the host said, patting the new guest star couch.

"Okay." the little bunny rabbit sat down on the sofa and waited for the host to begin. "Now Cream," the host started, leaning toward the little rabbit. "Word on the street has it that you and Tails are an item. Is that true?"

Cream's face got red. "Umm I don't think so," she said. "If we are, nobody told me."

"So you and Tails aren't a hot couple?" she asked.

"Why would we be?" the rabbit question. "We're only in elemetary school."

"What about your mother?"

"I am not inlove with my mother," Cream said, adgitated.

"I never said that," the host said. "I was asking if your mother was inlove with someone."

"I don't know," the rabbit said. "She and Mr. Vector have seen each other a few times though."

"So your mother has a boyfriend?"

"I don't know."

"Could he be your dad?"

"What?" Creams eyes got real big. "No way!"

"What about Dr. Eggman?"

"What about Dr. Eggman?"

"Could he be your dad?"

"No. Why?"

"I dunno. It just sounds like it could work," the host said, thoughfully. "Vanilla. Cream. Eggman. Vanilla cream egg! WAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!"

Cream looked like she was going to start crying. "That's mean," she said in her hi squeaky voice.

"Oh sorry." the host apoligized. "No offence."

"You'd _better_ be sorry," Cream said sniffling. "Because you were really getting mean for a moment."

"Yeah, yeah," the host muttered looking away. "Whiny voiced brat!"

"What ddi you call me?"

"Oh nothing," the host said smiling fakily. "I just said you're a whiny brat."

"I AM NOT!" Cream shouted, offended. "Lotsa people like me."

"Well I'm not one of the lotsa since 4Kids took over your voice," the host replied.

"I can't help that."

"You could protest."

"How? I'm only 6."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I dont know."

"You could protest," the host suggested. "You could get your lover Tails and your other friends and stand outside the building protesting and saying you won't do anymore talking until they stop making you all have sucky voices."

"You're right," the host said, standing up with determiantion. "I'll do it!" Cream turned to her Chao Cheese. "C'mon Cheese!' she said as they started to march out of the room.

"Hey wait!" the host called after them. "I was only kidding!" but Cream ignored her.

"Rats," the host muttered annoyed. "Who am I going to interview now?"

"You could interview me!" a voice said.

The host looked up. She spotted Mr Sam Speed standing a few feet away grinning stupidly and pointing at himself. "After all; I'm _much _better than those Sonic people!"

"Do wa?!" the host gasped. "GET OUT OF HERE YOU FREAK!" She picked up her glass candy bowl and chucked it at him. "Nobody likes you!"

Sam dodged the candy bowl then saw the host coming at him with her ax, her face insane looking with chompy teeth and fire in her eyes. "GET OUT!"

Charlie appeared on the scene grinning weirdly, as the host chased Sam Speed around. "Uhh due to the host's homicidal behavior we're going to take a comercial break!" then he turned to the two people running in the backgroud. "Miss Host please calm down! Just think about our ratings!"

_A/N_

_hehehehehehe. I hate Creams 4Kids voice and I don't like Vanilla being paired up with Vector._


	11. Comercial 2

CHAPTER 11 COMERCIAL 2

The scene changes to Station Square at night. Sam Speed is driving his ugly race car while drinking cofee and talking on the cell phone. "No, mom, I won't be coming home until late," he's saying. "I have a date tonight."

His mom says something. He says something back. Finally he's so into his conversation he doesn't noticed the cute little blue hedgehog walk onto the street until the next second. "WHOA!" he exclaimed, swirving the car.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Car crashes into a brick wall. Sonic comes out of the shadows and hands the little hedgehog twenty bucks. "Thanks a lot, pal," he says.

"No problem," the little hedgehog says then scurries off.

Off camera voice. "Accidents can happen anytime."

Geico logo appeares "Geico. A fifteen minute call can svae you fifteen percent or more on car insurence."

Screen goes black

Scene changes.

Dr. Eggman appears on the screne singing. "I am the Eggman that's what I am!" and smiles showing off his pearly whites.

Off camera voice. "Do you want your teeth as white a a movie stars?"

Can can dancers come onto the stage and dance behind Eggman. They all show off their pearly whites.

"Crest White strips can take off over twenty years off stains off your teeth as well as creates a brighter smile. So when you want super white teeth get Crest White strips."

Eggman finishes his song. "Crest White strips whitens your teeth! NOW SURRENDER TO THE EGGMAN EMPIRE!"

"Get him girls!" Can can dancers break formation and dog sile on Eggman, beating him in the head with their spike healed shoes.

"AHHHHHHHHH! NOOO! MOMMMY!"

Some station person stared at the screen at the comercials, looking totally freaked out. "Okay," he said. "Who put these tapes in? Let's get back to the talkshow now and please no more weird comercials."

Studio person ejects comercial tape and switches cameras.

_A/N_

_Never create comercials when _The Suite Life Of Zack and Cody _is on. It messes up your muse. _


	12. Sam Speed

CHAPTER 12 Sam Speed

The scene fades into an empty studio. The host in nowhere to be seen and people in the audiance are getting nervous. Finally the host runs into the studio, trips, rightens herself, and takes her seat. "Sorry, everyone," she said, panting. "I was umm fixing my make up." she turned to the camera. "Welcome back to the Sonic Insane Talk Show."

The crowd, relieved that the host hadn't run off somewhere, cheered.

"Our next guest is a race car driving druggy who is the uncle of that little Sora wannabe Christ Thorndike and who has a huge case on himself," the host went on, leaning forward and intertwining her fingers around her left knee. "Please welcome Sam Speed."

The crowd cheered as Sam Speed walked into the studio grinning and waving like he'd just won the Dantona 500. "Thank you, Thank you," he said, blowing a kiss to a woman who threw up. "I'm here till friday."

The host tapper her finger on the table, impatiently. "Yeah yeah, sit down you ham," she ordered. "You can sign autographs later."

"Okay," Sam said, sitting down in the couch and winking at the host. "Hey, babe, how ya doin?"

"I'm going to throw up if you hit on me again," she replied. "You might think you're Gods gift to women but you're butt ugly and have a huge case on yourself."

"I am not ugly," Sam protested.

"Whatever," the host muttered. "By the way. Why do you sound like Brandon from the _Winx Club?"_

Sam blinked. "I do?" he asked.

"No duh," the host said. "and you both sound retarted. It's fine with you having that voice but he's like what? 16? That voice he has is too old for him."

"I have no idea and don't care," Sam said leaning back on the couch and yawning. "These questions are boring. Let's talk about something else."

"Like what?" the host asked.

Sam grinned, winked, and pointed at himself with his thumb. "Me."

"Oh Lord..." the host muttered putting her head in her hand and shaking it. (her head no her hand) "Why me? Why of all people do I have to put up with this guy?"

"Hey," Sam said putting a hand on her shoulder. "Wanna go for a ride in my car sometime?"

"No way!" the host shouted. "Let's just continue the interview shall we?"

"Okay," Sam said. "What else do you have to ask?"

"Who is cooler? You or Sonic."

"That's easy," he said, smiling convidently. "Me."

"Um no," the host said. "I don't think so. If there was a vote Sonic would come out on top and you would be in the trash."

"I would not!"

"Yes you would and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're an idiot."

"I am not."

"Yes you are."

"You're mean."

"I know."

"You don't have very many friends do you, lady?"

"That is irrelivent and off topic," the host yawned. "Now if you don't have anything else to say I suggest you get into your Mack5 wannabe car and drive off a short bridge."

"Fine I'll do just that," Sam said getting up and heading off the stage. He'd almost reached the exit whe he turned and said. "That was an insult wasn't it?"

The host rolled her eyes. "Oh boy..."

_A/N_

_I hate Sam Speed. He thinks he's so cool when he isn't. His car looks a lot like Speeder Racers and yes I do think Sam is on drugs. I'll do Bunnie next. _


	13. Bunny Rabbot

Chapter 13 Bunny Rabbot

After the host was sure that Sam wasn't coming back she turned back to her audiance and the cameras and said. "Well let's move, shall we?" when she recieved claps and cheeres she smiled and leaned back in her chair. "Okay. Our next guest is a rabbit from the south that got half her body turned into a robot by one of Eggman's robotizing machines. Please welcome Bunny Rabbot!"

Clump! Clump! Clump!

Bunny came clumping into the studio looking like she was having a hard time raising her big metal legs. Panting, she flopped down on the couch. "Sweet Mother of Lincoln," she gasped as she slumped on the couch. "These derned legs get heavier every day."

"They look like it," the host said, eyeing the metal legs. "How can you stand those things?"

"They have rockets built into them, suga'... I think," Bunny replied forcing herself to sit up straight. "But I wish they were stainless steel. I try to swim with these thangs and they get all rusty."

"That sounds sucky," the host agreed, nodding her head. "But they must have some good qualtities."

Bunny shot the host a horrified look. "Good qualities!"?" she asked. "I can't even russle up some grub for supper. These things slow me down so much I might as well be eating grass!"

"You're a rabbit," the host said. "You're _suppost_ to eat grass."

"Oh yeah," Bunny said, remembering that fact. "Oh drat. I've been eating cows all these years and I never realized I was a vegetarian."

The host sweatdropped. "Uh... okay."

"Heydo you know where that love hunk Sonic is?" Bunny asked suddenly.

"Uh what?" The host asked.

"Where's that hunka burning love?"

"Elvis is dead."

"Not Elvis! Sonic!"

"He's looking for Amy," the host replied. "I made her cry."

"You did?" Bunny asked. "Gosh. That's a bad horse pill."

"Eh?"

"Nothing," Bunny said, switching position so her legs went CLAMG CLAMG! again.

"Can you stop doing that?" the host asked, covering her ears. "That's real noisy. It's hurting my eardrums!"

"Sorry, sugar." Buny said looking embarrest. "These heavy thangs get uncomfortable in the same position after awhile. I gotta change position every few minutes."

"Can you do it more quietly?"

"I can try."

"So umm..." the host thougth for a long while then admitted. "I don't know much about you so I can't get on your nerves."

"Huh?" Bunny stared at her. "Why would you want to do that, sugar?"

"Because it's my job," the host said. 'How about you tell me about yourself."

"Hmm well." Bunny thought for awhile then said sheepishly. "Can't think of a confoundent thang, sugar."

"Can you stop calling me 'sugar'?"

"Sure, sugar."

"Stop it!"

"Why, sugar?"

"I'm not your sugar."

"Oh. That does sound awkward." Bunny looked embarrest. "How about I call ya somethang else? Like honey?"

"No! Not that either?"

"Can I call ya anythang?"

"Yeah, Good bye."

"Good bye?" Bunny was confused. "Why would I want to call ya that?"

"Because that's what you're about to do," the host said, pressing an eject button.

The cushion Bunny was sitting on suddenly shot up on a huge spring and she went flying out the window. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed as she flew. "Good bye, surgar!"

The host glared at Bunny's diappearing figure and shouted. "I'M NOT YOUR SUGAR!"

_A/N_

_I don't know much about Bunny. Sorry. I tried my best. All I know is that she is like half robot and talks like she's from Kentucky or something. _


	14. Charmy Bee

CHAPTER 14 CHARMY BEE

A little later, after a brief comerciel with tap dancing mouth wash, the cameras returned to the studio and the host, who was yapping on the phone with her agent, realized it was time to begin the show, got under way again. "Uh hello, people, welcome to my show," she said forgetting her lines. "Our next guest is that little singing bee who has a bad habit of being to outspoken. Please welcome Charmy Bee!"

The crowd cheered as Charmy flew into the studio and sat down on the sofa across from the host. Before she could say anything he opened his mouth and said, loudly, "Boy are you ugly!"

The host's face turned red. "I beg your parden," she demanded.

"You're ugly," he said again. "What's on your face anyway? You look like your face got stepped on by a-"

"Enough," the host growled, folding her arms. "I am not ugly, you little brat. I just happen to look a lot like my dad."

"Was he ugly too?"

"No!"

"I bet your whole family is ugly, aren't they?" Cahrym questioned.

"No! Now stop it!" the host yelled.

"I bet when you were born the doctor slapped your mother," he went on.

"He did not!" the host growled. "I happened to be a cute baby."

"Cute for what? A wart hog?"

"No! Stop that!"  
Charmy started hovering around singing. "_I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl! Thought I had it_-"

"CUT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!" The host screamed.

"Why?" Charmy wanted to know, hovering just out of her reach.

"Because if you don't I'm gonna squash you!"

"I'd like to see you try it," he taunted, sticking out his tongue. "Nyahh!"

The host counted to ten then sat back down in her chair. She sighed. "Fine, you win," she said. "Now would you please come down from there."

"Sure, Ugly Lady," he said plopping back onto the sofa.

_Control! _the host told herself, through clenched teeth. _You must have control!_

"Okay," the host began. "How do you feel-"

"Wanna hear a joke?" Charmy interrupted.

"Uh... I guess..."

"What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?" he began without waiting for an answer.

"Uh..."

"A Toy Yoda!"

"Wh-hat?!"

"What do you call Ivo Robotnick when he's acting evil?"

"Uh.."

"Rotten-Egg!"

"What do you call a rooster who commited suicide?"

"Uh."

"A Hang-cock! BWAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Get it? Another name for a rooster is cock and he commited suicide by hanging himself. A hang-cock!"

"Wh-what the?! Stop it right now!"

"Okay. " Charmy said thinking hard. "Hey wanna hear a song?"

"I don't think-"

_"I love ice cream! Ice cream is for me! We are together! We're a happy family! Hey!" _

"I don't know if-"

_"Swing your arm's from side to side," _Charmy started swinging his arms from side to side, "_ C'mon let's go do da Mario! Take one step and then again-"_

"Cut that out!" The host ordered when Charmy started kicking her.

"_Swing your partner round and round-"_

The host grabbed Charmy's feet and held him upsidedown. "Stop that!"

"Hey!" he shouted, flapping his wings and trying to get away. "Let me go!"

"I'll let ya go all right," the host said, feeling frazzled. "I'll do this!" and with a mightly kick she sent Charmy shooting back into the guest lounge.

Just as she sighed in relief and flopped back into her chair he came flying back in and said, "You're still ugly!"

"Get back in here, Charmy!" Vector ordered, coming into the studio and grabbing Charmy. "You know you're not suppost to do anything without taking your medication."

"I don't need medication!" Charmy shouted as Vector pulled him back into the guest lounge. "IDON'TNEEDMEDICATION! I'MFINE!"

The host collapsed back into her chair, dropping the baseball bat she had in her hand. "I need a normal guest," she groaned, rubbing her head. "Oh my head!"

_A/N_

_Charmy is annoying. I think he is way too hyperactive. Maybe he has ADD._


	15. Shadow the Hedgehog

CHAPTER 15 Shadow the Hedgehog

After the host took some asprine for her headache and fixed her hair, she returned to the stage and sat in her chair. "Okay everyone," she said, looking at the audiance. "I have no idea who to go next so you choose someone for me. Who do you want to go next?"

Everyone got up and did the wave, shouting "Shadow! Shadow!"

"Okay," the host said. "Our next guest is that gun toting, black hedgehog, that's on drugs, and has amnesia. Shadow the hedgehog!"

The crowd cheered as Shadow came out of the guest lounge. "I am _not_ on drugs!" he shouted at her.

"Whatever," the host said. "C'mon and sit down. Let's begin."

"I don't know if I want to," he said annoyed as he walked slowly toward the stage. "You said I was on drugs!"

"I say things like that about everyone," the host pointed out. "It's a stereotype thing. Tell me, are you emo?"

"No!"

"So you don't go around cutting yourself?" the host asked.

"No," Shadow said sliding cautiously onto the guest couch. "Who told you that?"

"Nobody really," the host said. "Some people just consider you emo. They think you're easy too."

"What?" he asked, shocked.

"Yeah, they all think you'll sleep with anyone and anything, including your clones!" the host said, looking like it didn't bother her one bit.

Shadow was just taking a drink from the glass of water that had been on the table, when the host said that. He spit the liquid all over the host. "They say _what_?!" he gasped.

"Ew!" the host said looking at her dripping water. 'Gross!" she pulled out a towel and started to dry herself.

"Why would people say such things about me?" Shadow wanted to know.

"I don't know," the host said, drying her hair. "Maybe they have no respect for you. Maybe they think cause you're depressed about Maria dying you'll do _anything _to get your mind off it!"

Shadow started turning a little green. "Oh God!" he hurked, putting a hand over his mouth. "Maybe that's why I've been getting so many weird looks lately."

"Could be," the host said grinning. "So, Shadow. Is it safe to say you and Maria were more than just friends?"

"What!?" he exclamed, gaping at the host. "What's _that_ suppost to mean?"

"You fill in the blank."

"I never did anything like that to Maria!" he shouted. "She's a human for crying out loud! I'd never do anything like that to her! She was my best friend!" he folded his arms and looked away. 'And looks nothing like Chris Thronedike!"

"Where did that come from?" the host asked.

"I don't know," he said glaring at nothing. "Maybe they want people to think I'm gay."

"Well are you?"

"NO!"

Suddenly a yaoi fan comes into the room and smacks Shadow upside the head. "You are too!" she shouted. "You love Sonic and don't you dare deny it!"

Shadow stared at the yaoi fan. "What the hell?" he gasped. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about my fic," the fan said, closing her eyes and putting a finger in the air as she began a long preview of her fic. "In my fic you and Sonic are desperately in love with each other but won't admit it until one day you get stuck down a hole with each other and proceed to tell all your feelings then spend the night having mad male hedgehog sex-" While the yaoi fan went off on a story preview rampage the host noticed Sahdow's face turning dark green and he started gagging. The host realized Shadow was going to be sick and handed him a garbage can as she turned to the yaoi fan.

"Excuse me, miss," the host said grabbing the yaoi fan by the shoulders. 'I think you'd better go now." she proceeded to lead the fanatic off the stage.

"Hey, I wasn't done yet!" the yaoi fan shouted, totally offended.

"You're done now," the host said turning her head. "Security!"

Two burely men led the fan away as the host went back to poor, tramatized, Shadow, who was now sitting upright with scared eyes and panting heavily. "Shadow?" the host said sitting down in her chair and looking at the black hedgehog worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"DON'T LET ANYMORE MANIACS IN HERE!" he screamed, clutching the host by the arms and giving her big pleading eyes. "PLEASE!"

"Fine," the host said. "I won't let anymore fangirls except for me onto the stage."

"Good enough," Shadow said, calming down slightly. He sat back on the sofa.

"So Shadow," the host said. "Do you like being able to wield a gun in a kid's game?"

"_Shadow the Hedgehog _is a kid's game?" he asked, sounding surprised. "I thought it was a teen game."

"It's not," the host said.

"Well, it should be," he said folding his arms. "What kind of kid's game allows the characters to say 'damn' and 'hell' in it?"

"I have no idea," the host said shaking her head. "I asked someone the same question and they gave me a dumb answer."

"Well it shouldn't be a kid's game," he pouted. "I'm much cooler than_ that_." he chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny?" the host asked.

"At least they let me keep the gun!" he said, pulling out a huge bazooka. "And they stocked it with lotsa amo too! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Dude," the host said all shifty eyed. "Your new voice makes you evil laugh sound so lame."

"My new voice?" Shadow asked, grabbing his throat. "What new voice?"

"The new 4kids voice the company gave you," the host said. "You're lame voice. You sound like Lord Darkar from the _Winx Club_. All the way down to the stupid sound effects he makes. That voice might sound good for him but it makes you sound old and retarted. Or like a very sick Sonic. You two are voiced by the same character now, did you know that?"

"We're what?!" Shadow exclaimed, horrified by the news. "I knew there was something wrong with the way I sounded and now I know. I sound like an evil version of _him!" _the black hedgehog stood and lifted his gun. "I will not be voiced by or made a fool out of by the same guy who voices Sonic! They're dead! So dead!" he ran out of the studio, blasting away and sending the audiance into mass chaos. "SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE TONIGHT! MWAHAHAAAAAAAAA!'

The host watched him leave and shook her head. "It _still_ sounds lame," she said calmly.

_A/N_

_I'm not making fun of any yaoi fans in here ...well I sorta am ...but I'm making fun of **everything **in this fic, including straight pairings and ridiculous assumptions. I even mocked one of my fave Shadow pairings. ShadowxMaria. So it's not just you. Don't be offended. I really truely hate Shadow's new voice and I hate the fact that he's been paired up with everyone and everything in the Sonic universe. It's kinda sad if you ask me. All well. Sorry I took so long to update. I've had a mild case of writers block and didn't know who to do next. Just to point out. I am a **mad **Shadow fan but I couldn't give him special treatment now could I? That wouldn't be fair to the others. lol. _


	16. Silver The Hedgehog

CHAPTER 16 Silver The Hedgehog

After Shadow went off the kill his new voice actor the rearranged the pillows on the guest star couch and sat back to relax. "Okay people, our next guess will be that hedgehog from the future who has psychic powers and looks like he's a cross between a bird and a hedgehog," she said. "Please welcome Sliver the hedgehog!"

Silver came in looking a bit miffed at the host for saying he looked like a bird and hedgehog love child but quickly regain his composure when a camera zoomed in on his face and he laughed nervously as he sat down.

"So Silver, how does it feel being one of the newest characters in the Sonic universe?" the host asked.

"I feel like a fan character," he said.

"Why's that?"

"Well look at me!" he said. "I have a tufty fur thing on my chest just like Shadow!" he pulled on it. "The least they could have done was make me look more original."

"Oh I don't think you look that much un original," the host said. "I heard you are psychic. Does that mean you can see into the future?"

"I wish," he said. "I'm more like Mewtwo. I can use my powers for other things but not to see into the future."

"Bummer for you then, huh?"

"Uh huh."

"So what's your relationship with Blaze?" the host wanted to know.

"Umm we're friends?" he said cluelessly.

"_Just_ friends?" the host prompted. "Not _more _than just?"

"I... uh... um..."

"C'mon you can tell me," the host said, leaning forward. "You have the hots for that sexy cat mama doncha?"

"Last I checked she wasn't anyone's mama," he said.

"Oh you know what I mean," the host said. "Don't act so clueless."

"I _don't_ know what you mean." Silver said. "What do you mean?"

"Nevermind," the host said, sighing. "So, are you afraid of Memphis?"

"..."

"Have you ever been to Memphis?"

"..."

"Do you want to go to Memphis?"

"...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What?"

"Memphis...!" he said in a low loathing voice. "That no good )(R$$&(&$&&!!!!!!!!!!"

"Eh? You got a problem with Memphis?"

"I'm gonna kill him!"

"But Memphis was where Elvis was born."

"EH?!" he gave the host a clueless look. "What no! Memphis is evil!"

"Ummm Silver I think you're talking about 'Mephiles'," the host corrected. "He's the evil dude who stalks Shadow to make him have low self esteam and make him suicidale."

"What? I thought you said Mephiles."

"No I was saying Memphis, the home of Elvis Presly," the host corrected. "You heard wrong."

Silver's face turned bright red with embarrassment. "Oh boy..."

"Yah hate him that much doncha boy?" the host said, folding her arms. "Any kinda mention of a name similar makes you blood boil. Seems you have a bad temper."

"I do _not _have a bad temper!" he snapped.

"Oh really?" the host raised an eyebrow. "Then why are you yelling? Why do you hate Memphis? Why aren't you in love with Blaze? And why do you hate cheese?"

"I never said I hated cheese!" he protested. "Cheese is good!"

The host cracked up.

"What?"

"It sounded like you said sneeze is a food!"

"What? That makes no sense."

"I know," the host howled, banging the armrest of her chair. "That's why it's funny."

Silver stared at the host a moment then his eyes glowed blue and he said in a fake prediction voice. "I see a safe falling on your head in the future."

"WHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!" hte host fell off her chair laughing hystercially.

Silver watched her crack up then shook his head, got up, and left, most likely looking for Blaze or the proper name for his enemy.

_A/N_

_I do not own Sonic2006 I don't even own a PS3 I just wrote what little I found out when I looked his name up on Wikipedia. Not that it matters. Just to let you know at first I kept on saying "Memphis" cuz I couldn't remembers the guys real name and it sounds a lot like his name. I mean "Mephiles" "Memphis" they do sound kinda similar. lol. _


	17. Miles Tails Prower

CHAPTER 17 Miles (Tails) Prower

After the host finally got ahold of herself she got off the floor and climbed back into her chair, gasping for breath. Once she caught her breath she said. "Okay people. I think it's time for another victo-I mean guest.So uh... our next guest is that little techno geek fox who is Sonic's best friend and Cream's secret lover. Please welcome Miles "Tails" Prower!"

The little two tailed for walked in and waved shyly as the crowd applouded and he sat down on the guest sofa.

"Hello, Miles," the host said, grinnning evily at him.

"Uh...," he said nervously. "Call me Tails."

"Okay, Tails," the host said. "How are things in prison?"

Tails stared. "What?" he said.

"How are things in the slammer?"

"Wha are you talking about?"

"Aww c'mon Miles," the host said putting a hand on his shoulder. "We all know you worked for the Mexican Mafia and got put in prison."

"I did not!" he shouted. "Talk about something else."

"Fine then," the host said leaning back. "Let's talk about something else." the host thought a moment then said. "Are you plannng on creating a missle to drestroy the world?"

"NO!"

"Are you a crazy mad scientist?"

"No! That's Eggman."

"Do you love Cream?"

"... No!"

"You hesitated."

"So?"

That _must_ mean you love her!"

"No it doesn't!" he protested, blushing.

"Okay then," the host said, remembering something. "That's right. You're in love with Cosmo."

"Uh... No I'm not!" he protested, blushing furiously.

"Yes you are! Well if you go by the Sonic X theory." the host looked away thoughfully. "If you go by the Archy Comics you love some weirdo named Fiona."

"I'm not a player!"

"I never said you were." the host told him. "It's just strange that you have three different love interests if you go by the anime, the games, and the comics. Who are you really in love with?"

"Sonic."

"EXCUSE ME! WHAT?!" the host looked at him with a weirded out expression on her face. "Did you just say you were in love with Sonic?"

"No!" he denied it.

"Oh really?" the host gave him a liney eyed stare. "Then why _did_ you say it?"

"I was singing."  
"Singing?"

"Yeah, the Sonic X theme," Tails said quickly. "You know. Sonic, he's on the run. Sonic, he's number one."

"That theme is lame," the host said. "Let's change the subject again."

"Okay," Tails agreed, looking totally relieved.

"Who is smarter? Eggman or you?"

"Ummm... well."

"Don't tell me you don't know?"

"I think our IQ scores are the same."

"You think?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"You know, you're really making this interview boring."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," the host said, yawning. "Just leave before I start rambling again. It's not your fault you're slightly boring."

"I'M NOT BORING!"

"You are to me," the host said. "Compared to the others you don't have much going for ya. Now if you had some kinda cool ability..."

"I can fly."

"So can Cream but she ways looks funny since she uses those big floppy ears."

"Oh.,.." Tails looked depressed. "Then I'll go and _do_ something interesting." he said determindly.

"You do that," the host said encouragingly. "When you do come back and tell us about it okay?"

"Sure thing."

_A/N_

_Sorry. Tails is just kinda boring. I couldn't think of anything to ask him about. All well. He can just come back for a second interview. No I don't think he's really inlove with Sonic._

_And now you're all gonna go away and never leave a review again right?_

_:sarcastic: thanks a lot.  
_


	18. Espio The Chameleon

**Somee has been requesting me to do this character for awhile and I'm finally doing it. I hope you'll enjoy it. **

CHAPTER 18 Espio The Chameleon

A few minutes after Tailes left to do something cool and interesting with his life, and after the host got herself a drink of water, and after they played a comercial about tap dancing horses, the host returned to her chair and said. "Okay everyone our next guest is that full of himself, slightly emo, ninja chameleon who has a freakishly curly tail. Please welcome Espio the chameleon!"

As the crowd cheered nobody came into the studio. The cheering died down and people began looking around in confusion. The host wasn't happy either.

"Hey!" she called out. "You can come out now!" Nothing. "HEY! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!"

That's when she heard snickering infront of her. She gaped at the couch, seeing nothing but hearing the laughter. "A ghost?" she said.

"HAHAHAHAA!" the "ghost" started to appear and the host saw Espio sitting in the chair, laughing his head off. When he got ahold of himself he grinned at her and said. "Gotcha!"

"You enjoy doing that, dontcha?" the host asked, not amused.

"Oh yeah," he said, snorting. "It's the best for Halloween. It has scared a lot of little children... and some adults."

"Dew..." the host said, weirded out by the very idea. Somehow it didn't seem like something Espio would do but what did she know? "Um.. uh... How about we get started?"

"Okay."

"So, Espio, how does it feel to have a big horn growing out of your face?"

"Uh..," he thought for a moment. "It doesn't bother me."

"Oh really? Not even when you try to kiss your girlfriend?" the host asked.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Porbably because when you try to kiss her you poke her eye out with your horn."

"I do not!"

"Sure... so does it annoy you when people play with your tail?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know. Do they play the Curly Straight game with it?"

"What's that?"

"I'll show you." the host grabbed his tail and yanked him toward her. "YEOW!" he wailed.

"Oh shut up, you big baby," the host said. "Now watch. This is Curly Straight." She started fooling around with his tail, straightening it then letting it go so it would curl back up. "Curly Straight! Curly Straight!" she sang.

"STOP THAT!" he shouted, wrenching his tail free. "That's mean."

"Sorry," the host said. "I was just showing you what I meant."

"Well don't ever do that again," he said, massaging his tail. "That hurt."

"Sorry." the hoist sipped some water then asked. "So, Espy, is it all right if I call you Espy?"

"No."

"So, Espy, is Charmy right?"

"Right about what?"

"Are you full of yourself?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well you're either full of yourself or real retarded."

"Why do you say that?"

"Cuz you're always like "Beware my ninja power" and "Ultimate ninja power." You got some kinda ninja power fetish? Is there even a such thing as ninja power?"

"Why are you asking me that? Ask my sensei."

"I can't ask him. He's probably dead or has Alzimors or something, besides, shouldn't you know?"

"I don't know."

'Then what good are you?"

"You're annoying you know that?" he said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're annoying."

"Hmph! At least I'm not inlove with Vector."

"Huh? Who's in love with Vector?"

"Well aren't you?"

"No."

"Well you're obnoxios."

"So are you."

"Do you have bad aim?"

"Why you you always change the subject like that?"

"I just do now answer the question."

"I don't think so."

"Then how come your throwing stars never hit their target unless you're standing right infront of it?"

"I don't know."

"You suck. Yuffie's better at it than you."

"Who's Yuffie?"

"Nevermind. You know what?"

"What?"

"You suck elephant dung."

"WHAT!?"

"Nevermind, I'm kidding."

_A/N_

_I can't think of anymore. I went through three topics I know about, or was it four about him. His aim, his horn, his tail, his love life, even his skills. Wait that's five. Oh well. I can't think of anything else! You'd think I would but I can't! FORGIVE ME AND MY WRITERS BLOCK! AUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH!_


	19. Princess Elise

CHAPTER 19 Princess Elise

After Espio slunk away to do ninja things the host brought out another glass bowl of candy and straightened the pillows on the couch. When she was done she turned to the crowd and said. "Welcome back. Our next guest is that red haired princess that's in love with Sonic and can't cry because if she does she'll destroy the world. Please welcome princess Elise!"

The row cheered as the princess came into the studio and sat down on the couch.

"Hello, Princess," the host said.

'Heloo, Miss Host person," Elise said getting up to curtsy. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It is, isn't it?" the host said all egotistical. "But you might not be saying that when I'm done."

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh, you'll see, " the host chuckled evily. "Mwahahaha!"

Elise stared... "Um.."

"So, Ely, do you mind if I call you Elly?"

"I guess not."

"Elly," the host snorted. "Elly the elephant...hehehhehee ...uh erm hem... so..."

"So what?"

"So Elise you do realize Sonic is a hedgehog don't you?"

"He is?" Elise said looking confused.

"Yes he is," the host said. "He's a blue hedgehog. Why are you in love with a hedgehog?"

"I... uhh."

"Are you like a zoophiliac or something?" the host asked.

'What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure," the host said. "I think it means someone who wants to have sex with animals..."

Elise made a weird face. "I wasn't aware..."

"Of course you weren't, my zoophiliac friend," the host said. "but you do realize if you had kids they'd look weird. Like mutated." the host got into Elise face. "You don't want little mutant babys do you?"

"No, I-"

"Why was your dad a mad scientist?"

"Uh... he was?"

"I know he was and don't you lie to me," the host said. "I looked it up on Wikipedia."

"Wikipedia?"

"Nevermind. So um... why did Eggman kidnap you?"

"I-"

"Was he looking to get laid."

"Laid?"

"I bet he was, hahaha!"

"I don't think so," Elise said. "I think he was just trying to-"

"I wonder why so many princesses like Sonic," the host mused, ignoring Elise. "I mean, he isn't really that great looking..."

"What? There are more Princesses who like him?"

"Yeah," the host said. 'There's that stripper Sally Acorn and I think Tikal might like him too, though I think she'd be better with Knuckles." the host glared at the camera. "THEY'RE NOT RELATED, YOU SICKOS!"

"Who's not related?"

"Nevermind, I'm not in terviewing her yet," the host said. "I'll ask her about it when I am."

"Who?"

"Tikal!"

"Ruins?"

"Not that Tikal."

"Oh."

"Did you ever wonder why Mephiles makes you think of Memphis?"

"Mephiles? Memphis?"

"Yeah, you know, the dude who tried to make you cry."

"Oh him." Elise thought a moment. "I have no clue. Maybe you should ask him."

"Okay. I will," the host gave Elise a once over. "So, Elise."

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if I told you I thought you had ugly hair and a cow face?"

"Why would you want to say that?"

"Because you do."

"I do not!"

"Yes you do! You're ugly! And another thing, why didn't Amy beat you up when she saw you with Sonic?" the host asked. "She insists Sonic belongs to her yet she doesn't mind when he's with other girls. I'd expect her to at least chance you with a chainsaw."

"W-what?"

The host smiled, seeing that she was succeeding at getting to Elise. "Yeah, Amy can get pretty possesive sometimes," she said. "Especially when she sees her low with ugly cow faced girls."

"I don't have a cow face!"

"Yeah, you keep on telling yourself that."

Elise stared at her a moment then burst into tears. "WAH! You're mean!" she sobbed.

Suddenly the Iblis thing came out of her and at that moment Mephiles appeared. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed like a seal. "I finally succeded in getting Iblis!" he flew toward it. (I dunno. I don't know what it looks like) "Now I can fuse with it and become Soliaris!"

Just as he was about to the host threw the candy bowl at him. It knocked him out of the studio. "Get out of here, it's not your turn yet." the host eyes the Iblis thing in the sky. "I think you'd better get that."

_A/N_

_What? I don't like Elise I think she's ugly. heheheheh. Actually I'm not sure what a zoophiliac is. I'm not even sure there's a such thing. Either way all well. It doesn't matter. I'll get to the other as soon as I can. Just be patient. _


	20. Vector the Crocodile

CHAPTER 20 Vector The Crocodile

After Princess Elise ran out of the studio, bawling her eyes out, the host decided to interview someone older and less recent. "Well," she said. "Since things have been going a bit downhill from here I decided to interview that quarky crocodile who loves cash and Vanilla, Vector the crocodile!"

The crowd cheered as Vector came out of the guest lounge. He waved and blew kisses. "Thank you thank you!" he said smiling that grin of his.

"Okay dude," the host said when Vector sat down. "I have no idea what to talk about so how about you say something about yourself and we can go from there."

"Okay," Vector said, scratching his chin as he thought for a moment. "Well my voice and personality seems to have changed quite a bit since 4kids took over voicing the video games."

"Yes it has," the host agreed, nodding. "They kinda make you act like an idiot. And that voice! Ugh!"

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "It's not_ that _bad!"

"Not that bad?" the host demanded. "You sound like someone who got something stuffed up thier nose and don't even get me started on your persona!"

"What do you expect from a low budget company?"

"Low budget company?" the host scoffed. "Pa-lease I bet those losers get lotsa money making you act and sound like a retard. And they never do a good job at dubbing voices. The only person that sounds just fine is Espio. Everyone else sounds sick or like they're straining their voices. Just listen to Vanilla. She's like what? Twenty four? She sounds like an old grandma."

"Hey, don't mock Vanilla's voice!" Vector shouted.

"Yeah, yeah, . She's your honey bun I know," the host said waving him off.

Vector blushed. "She's not _exactly_ my honey bun..." he began.

"Whatever. Just keep her from Ivo will ya?" the host asked. "For all we know he could be Cream's father."

Vector fell over. "WHAT?!" he exclaimed mortified by the idea.

"Nevermind," the host said. "By the way; why are you such a slave driver?"

"Huh? I'm _not_ a slave driver!"

"You coulda fooled me," the host said, twirling a strand of red hair. "You forced Espio to hack into a computer in the Shadow The Hedgehog game. You do realize he's a ninja not a computer wiz, don't you? You shoud have asked Tails for help." the host thought a moment. "Then again Espio shoulda smashed that thing like Shadow did. It would have been more in character..."

"What _are_ you babbling about?"

"Tree frogs," the host said sarcasticly.

"_Tree_ frogs?"

"Yeah why haven't they made a normal character out of a frog?"

"They have. Froggy."

"Froggy is nothing but a Chaos Emerald eating, Chaos tail stealing, cleptomaniac," the host told him. "And I would like to remind you that just because you're sleeping with Vanilla doesn't mean you can blast your music so loudly when you go over there."

Vector stared. "How did you- Hey a minute! I _don't_ blast my music!"

"Sure you don't," the host said poking his head phones. "You mustn't like it when people talk to you very much. You always have those headphones on. Are you _trying_ to go deaf?"

"No," Vector said getting up. "This interview is over. All you want to do is make fun of me."

"SIT DOWN!" the host said grabbing him and shoving him back into the sofa. "At least I'm not going to kill you at the end like _some_ people would."

Vector blinked, not sure if he believed her or not. "Who's going to kill me?" he wanted to know.

"The same person who says this fic is _inferior _to his," the host growled. "That dumb dick, how dare he. At least _I'm_ not killing everyone and making them act like prostitutes..."

"What are you mumbling about now?"

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARRRR!" the host howled, lifting her ax. "Did I say you could _talk_?!"

Vector's eyes bugged out as he cowered on the sofa. "I-I-I..." he stammered, moving as far away form the ax as he could. "N-No. I'M SORRY!"

"You should be happy!" the host went on, fire in her eyes and her teeth all pointy like spikes. "At least _I'm_ not going to turn you into a suitcase!"

"S-suitcase?" Vector stuttered, quivering under the hosts death stare. "C-can you s-stop that. P-please?"

The host panted heavily for a moment then totally calmed down. "okay," she said smiling happily. She saw Vector's face. "Don't worry. I'm not PMSing. You'll live." she sat down. "Now where were we?"

Vector had had enough. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, getting off the sofa and scrambling back toward the lounge.

The host watched him go then asked. "Was it something I said?" before she lost it again and chased after him. "HEY, YOU DUMB CROC, I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD GO YET!"

_A/N_

_Vector is kinda boring so this chapter wound up being kinda random. I hope it was still good enough to keep you interested. Hmmm... Vector should sound Australian..._


	21. Dr Eggman

CHAPTER 21

After a few minutes of chasing Vector around the host returned to the stage and flopped down in her chair. "Phew," she gapsed. "I'm never doing that again." she looked up at her audiance and smiled nervously. "Okay we'll get back to the show."

The crowd cheered.

The host resituated herself in her chair and said. "Okay, some people have been asking me to interview Blaze-"

More cheers.

"Oh I will but not right now."

Some moans, boos, and thrown paint cans.

The host ducked behind her chair to avoid the flying junk. "I'll interview her in the next chapter. I promise." she said peeking over it and smiling nervously.

Cheers.

"Okay this time I'll interview..." the host thought a moment then said. "Doctor Eggman!"

Cheers.

"Okay, Eggy," the host said looking toward the guest lounge. "You can come out."

Dr. Ivo Eggman/Robotnick came out of the lounge and shouted. "Surrender to the Eggman Empire or die!" a can of beets hit him in the head. "Hey! Who threw that?" he demanded shaking his fist at the audiance.

A little kid stuck his tongue out at the mad scientists. "PFFFFFFT!"

"Oh you're asking for it, you little brat," Eggman shouted at him. "When I rule this planet children will be illegal!"

"Save the talk for the interview, Ivo!" The host called from her chair. "And quit bullying the audiances children!"

"All right," he said walking sulkily over to the sofa. He handed her the can as he sat down. "Here a little gift for you."

"For me oh how-" the host saw the lable. "Hey wait a minute! Beets!? I _hate_ beets!" She shoved it back into his hands. "Ew! Take it back! Take it back!"

He took it back chuckling evilly.

"So um.. Eggman," the host said. "Is it true that you steal the Chaos Emeralds because you think they're shiny?"

"Shiny?" he said. "Oh no, I steal the Chaos Emeralds because I use them to power my new inventions. And because they're shiny." he added silently.

"Of course," the host said. "You do realize in the time it takes you to create all those robots you could have done something useful with your life."

"Yeah like what?"

"Like you could be a mall Santa," the host said, poking his belly. "You're fat enough."

"Hey!"

"I'm only speaking the trueth," the host told him. "Here's another thing that bugs me about you. When you build these new devices they all seem to have the power to destroy the world in some way."

"So?"

"You do realize if you used them to destroy the planet you won't have a planet to rule."

"I-" He thought a momnent. "You know, I never thought about that."

"Then when those evil creatures help you out like Shadow and the Iblis Trigger and Chaos thing, the things they offer you also have the power to destroy the world."

"So?"

"If you destroy the planet where will you set up your empire?"

Eggman said nothing. "You know," he said after a moment of thinking. "When you put it that way it makes so sense."

"Yep, so on a lighter note, did you kidnap Elise hoping to get laid?"

"I don't think that's any of your business."

"Ah hah! You did!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Why do you sleep in bologna?"  
"Because I- Hey! I _don't_ sleep in bologna!"

"You sure?" the host said holding her nose. "You sure smell like you do!"

"It's greese."

"From all the hamburgers you scarf down right?"

"No from all the robots I work on."

"Oh well... How come you always want to kill Sonic?"

"Because he's always foiling my plans."

"Well that about somes it up but you do realize sometimes he's standing right next to you. If you wanted to kill him you could grab him by the neck and choke the life out of him."

"I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm always stuck in kids games!"

"Well trying to blow him up didn't look all that kid friendly! I mean that would set a bad example. What if other children thought they could blow up their enemies because you were able to?"

"Kids these days aren't as stupid as people think."

"_Sure_ they aren't. So which one of your voices did you like better? Your new one or your old?"

"Well both voices kinda sound the same," Eggman replied. "Though my old one sounded more evil at times. I hate my new laugh."

"I hate it too and if you laugh like that now I'm going to hit you."

"I'll laugh when I wanna laugh."

"... dew... Why do they call you Eggman?"

"That's simple because I eat so much and got so fat my body took on the form of an egg."

"What kind of egg?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I crack you open what kind of egg would you be? Cadberry? Chocolate? Caramel? Or just plain normal. Or would you be full of candy?"

"What do I look like? An Easter egg?"

"Sorta you got the colors for it."

"Hey!"

"Naw, I'm just messin with ya!" the host said cackling as she noogies her knuckles against his face.

"Stop that!" he ordered.

"Why?"

"Because if you don't I'll eat your hand." he gave it a hungry look. "It would taste good with ketchup."

The host moved her hand away. "You just can't control yourself, can you?" she asked.

"Naw," he said getting up and starting to leave.

"Hey! Where are you going? I'm not done!"

"I'll be back," he told her. "I gotta get something done."

"Like what?"

He grinned evilly. "You'll see," then waved as he left the room. "Good luck with Blaze."

The host watched him go. "Crazy weirdo," she muttered.

_A/N_

_Hey look I did something different. Eggman didn't go flying off the handle like the others did. Then again. He'll be back. So maybe he will for part two. We'll see I don't mind Eggman's new voice that much (since his old voice actor died and all) but I absolutely HATE his new laugh. "Woo who who!" I wanna kill it!. _


	22. Blaze The Cat

CHAPTER 22 BLAZE THE CAT

It wasn't long before the host realized Eggman wasn't going to come back. She sighed and looked at the audiance. "Well it seems our guest isn't going to return so I guess we'll just have to move on. Our next guest is that queen pyro cat who might be in love with Silver. Please welcome Blaze!"

The crowd cheered at the purple cat Blaze came out of the guest lounge and regally sat down on the sofa.

"Hello, your highness," the host said.

"Hello to you too," Blaze said.

"So, queeny," the host said. "is it true that you're always wearing that outfit because you have no skin underneith?"

Blaze looked mortified. "Who told you that?" she demanded.

"I read it on a website."

"Well that website is wrong," Blaze said, folding her arms. "I have skin under my clothes. I'm not a freak, you know!"

"Then how come you control fire?"

"How comes Shadow controls time? How come Silver is pychic? How come Tails has two tails? How come Sonic can run fast? How am I any different that them?"

"You could burn a house down..."

"Like I'd want to."

"Okay then. Moving on.," the host said. "So Blaze, is it true? Are you going out with Big?"

"Big?!"

"Yeah, he's a cat like you."  
"I don't even know who Big is."

"He's a big, fat, stupid, purple cat who likes froggies and fishing."

"Never heard of him."

"Yeah that wouldn't work anyway," the hosty said, thoughtfully. "He might squash you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. So um... have you and Silver ever done it?"

"Done what?"

The host smiled. "You know."

"No, I don't."

"You've never... uh.. how can I say this. Slept with him?"

"Why should I? He has his sown bed."

"You're pathetic." the host said. "I ment have you and him ever had sex."

"With each other?"  
"No with Mephiles. Of course I mean with each other."

"I... well..."

"Ha! You have!" the host said triumphantly.

Blaze's face turned red. "I never said that."

"You didn't deny it either."

"You're so getting on my bad side!" Blaze growled.

"Aww so what? What are you gonna do to me? Hock up a hairball?"

"How about I burn down your studio?"

"Oh you can't do that," the host said. "The fire detectors will flood the place if you do."

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure go ahead. But if you get put out you have to give me a zillion dollars."

Blaze glared at her then lit up like a street sign. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" she screamed fire exploding everywhere.

The audiance screamed and ducked in cover. A second later the sprinkles came on a doused Blaze, putting her out like a birthday candle.

"See, I told ya," The host said, grinning at the doused cat. "Now pay up."

Blaze sat there, looking like a cat that had just got a bath. She stared at the host then burst into tears. "Waaaaaah! I hate water!"

"Aww walk it off," the host said. "It's just water. It's not going to hurt you."

Blaze glared at her. "You're mean," she said, standing up and stomping her foot like a little child. "And I won't stand here any longer and have you make a fool out of me!"

"Then leave," the host said. "I'm not stopping you. Just don't make out with Shadow on your way out."

"Hmph!" Blaze left in a huff, leaving a long slippery wet trail behind her as she did so. "When I'm dry enough I'm burning this place down."

"Been nice talking to you!" the host called after her.

_A/N_

_Just to let you know I do not own nor have I ever played Sonic: Next Generation (whatever) or Sonic Rush. What I know about Blaze I learned from Wikipedia, fan art, and music videos. I do not hate Blaze. _


	23. Chao God Chaos

CHAPTER 23 CHAO GOD CHAOS

After Blaze stalked out of the studio the host got this really strange idea. "Okay people our next guest it the watery chao god that has the ability to destroy the world if he wanted to, please welcome Chaos!"

The crowd cheered as a puddle of water came out of the guest lounge and over to where the host sat. The host stared at the puddle, a grossed out expression appearing on her face. "All right, who peed on the floor?" she demanded.

The crowd cracked up.

"What?" the host asked.

Suddenly the puddle began to take on a form and the host screamed in terror as Chaos appeared in front of her. When he saw her face his face scrunched up like he was laughing and pointed a watery finger at her. _Oh so he can't talk_, the host thought, grinning evilly. _This should be good!_

"Hello Chaos," the host said, waving him to the gust couch. "I have some great questions for you but first. DON'T YOU DARE WET UP THAT COUCH!"

Chaos gingerly sat down, trying hard to not make a mess.

"So, Chaos," the host said. "Is it true that you like to play pranks on your friends?"

Chaos made a confused face.

"Isn't it true that you like to turn into you water form and become a puddle under people so they look like they wet themselves?"

Chaos stared at her.

"You _do _do that, don't you?" she asked.

He shook his head vigorously.

"Is that a yes or a no?" she asked.

He started signing with his hands.

The host just stared at him cluelessly. "Right," she finally said. "So Chaos, are you in love with Tikal?"

Chaos stared at her, his whole body turning pink. "So you are?" the host asked.

Now he turned red.

"HAHAHAHAHA! You cannot hide your feelings! Your water colors give you away!"

Chaos glared at her.

The host made a weird face then waved her hand at him. "Now don't go making facses like that," she said. "_You're_ the one who gave yourself away."

Chaos growled at her.

"Don't you growl at me!" she ordered, wacking him over the head. Her hand went into him and she felt his brain. "EWWWW!" she squealed, pulling it out. "Gross!"

If Chaos had a tongue he would have stuck it put at her.

"Okay, let's move on," the host said. "So. Umm Chaos. How would you feel if I barbecued your Chao?"

Chaos face filled with horror and he began waving his hands again.

"Barbecue Chao with steak sauce, yum yum," the host said tauntingly. "Doesn't that sound good?"

It had absolutely no appeal to Chaos. He angrily raised a watery fist and smashed the table with it.

"Yikes!" the host yelped, pulling her legs up to her chest. "Watch it!"

But Chaos wasn't about to watch it. He pulled the Chaos Emeralds from out of nowhere and started to use them to turn into perfect Cjhaos. "HEY!" the host shouted, realizing what he was doing. "DON'T' YOU _DARE_ FLOOD MY STUDIO!"

That wasn't likely to happen. Crazy Psychotic Eggman flew into the room in his Eggman hover craft thing shouting. "CHAOS EMERALDS!" he rammed his thing into Chaos and the guardian thing dropped them. Eggman scooped them up and flew away, laughing.

The host glared at Chaos. "Now look what you did," she said. "I hope Tikal gives you a spanking."

Chaos turned red again and metled into a puddle. He quickly made his way out of the studio.

_A/N_

_I would have had more to this chapter but I have a major migraine and my head hurts like hell. I can't think straight so this chapter might be a little weird. Sorry._


	24. Pachamac

CHAPTER 24 PACHAMAC

After the host had some people mop up the watery mess Chaos had left behind the girl hopped back into her chair and said. "Okay people our next guest will be... the crazy fat father of Princess Tikal. please welcome King Pachamac!"

There was some cheering as Tikal's tyrant, war happy, father came wobbling into the room, resting all his fat weight on his walking stick. (CURSE YOU SONIC X! MAKING TIKAL'S FATHER A FAT LARD BALL!) He wheezed as he made his way across the room and sat down on the guest couch.

"Hey, Pachy," the host said. "Having a hard time walking?"

He panted heavily for a moment then took a deep breath and said. "Yes, as a matter of fact I am."

"I guess Sonic X wanted you to be fat," the host said. "I wonder. Did they force feed you some donuts or something?"

"Cream puffs," he corrected.

"Yeah, those will add on the pounds all right," the host said. 'They'll also make ya break out real bad too."

"Oh yes they will."

'Tell me about it."

"Okay I will," he said not getting the expression. "The other day I had a zit the size of-"

"No that's not what I ment!" the host shouted, not wanting to hear the story (which would most likely be gross). "I ment I could relate to you."

"Oh... we're not related."

"Nevermind," the host said, shaking her head. "So Pacha, why do you want war so badly?"

"I don't want war badly," he corrected her. "The war couldn't be helped."

"Yeah sure," the host said. "So why do you call your daughter Tikal 'Tiko' in the 4kids version of Sonic X?"

"Tiko?"

"Yeah, "Tiko"!" the host said. "I couldn't believe it! She's like my favorite female sonic character and you called her TIKO!"

"Don't blame me! Blame the dubbers!"

"Hmph! That's as bad as calling Emeral "M.L" it doens't even sound right. The japanese version of the show calls him Emeral and so does the game he's in. Did 4Kids think people wouldn't notice that?"

"Don't exaggerate. It wasn't that bad."

"WASN'T THAT BAD!?" the host roared. "4kids doesn't know how to dub worth shit! They are obsessed with keeping people who did die from actually dying by adding stupid monologes! And what's worse they go and ruin character names! Tiko?! M.L?!" GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! EMERAL BLEW UP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"

"Umm I thought you were interviewing me. Not complaining about 4Kids."

"The only thing they dubbed half decent was Pokemon the First Movie..." the host grumbled, ignoring him. "Why the hell did they have to go and change his voice in the second? Mewtwo's first voice was just fine."

"Ummm Miss host person?" Pachmac said.

"What?"

"I would advice against interviewing Pokemon," he said. "You'd be here forever."

"I wasn't planning on it, thought it's a good idea," the host said. "With the rate things are going if I did make one it would take me ten years to finish it..." the host shook her head. "Anyway... So Pachamac. Why did you steal the Chaos Emeralds when you knew Tikal warned you not to? Didn't you think she had a reason for it?"

"Gosh, lady, she's only fourteen," Pachamac said. 'What does she know?"

"More than you it seems."

"Well I learned my lesson," he said.

"After Chaos killed you."

"Chaos is an idiot."

"Don't tell him that. He'll drown you." the host grinned. "Besides you're afraid of him. I distincly remember you shouting "It's a monster!" the first time you saw him."

"Pffft!" he retorted sticking out his tongue.

"Yeah, real mature."

"I don't have to be mature," he said. "I'm the king."

"Not my king."

"Well yeah..."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"You're annoying and crazy."

"I'm not crazy!"

"Yes you are and I have no idea what else to ask you because you don't appear for very long in the games or show with your echidna army with the deformed arms."

"They don't have deformed arms!"

"Yeah whatever." the host made shooing motions with her hands. "I'm done with you. You're boring. Go away now. Bah bye!"

_A/N  
I'LL DO FIONA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER SO PLEASE BE PATIENT! Pachamac is kinda boring but at least I know something about him (No I did not read the stupid comic books) though I cannot stand that's he's a jerk and he called Tikal "Tiko" WHY THE HELL DID THEY DO THAT?! It's Tikal TIK-AL! For crying out loud! NOT TIKO! Lord help us all. Pachamac isn't as fat in the game as he is in Sonic X either.  
_


	25. Fiona Fox

Chapter 25 Fiona Fox

After Pachamac was rolled off the stage the host turned to the camera and said. "Okay, our next guest is that female fox girl that I don't know anything about but will try to interview anyway. Please welcome Fiona Fox!"

The crowd cheered as the fox girl came out of the guest lounge and stepped onto the stage. She sat down on the sofa.

"So, Fiona," the host said. "Are you happy that you never ended up in the anime?"

"Well," Fiona said. "I did mind at first but when I saw what 4kids did to it (I saw the Japanese one first, Fiona not me) I was happy they didn't put me in it." she made a scared face. "Half the time I didn't know what was going on and what was with all the puns?"

"I don't know," the host said, shrugging. "Maybe they think it's funny. Half the time the puns don't make any sense, but enough about 4kids"

"Who was the kid anyway?"

"A gay brat," the host replied, then changed the subject. "So Fiona, what is your relationship with Tails?"

Fiona blushed. "What relationship?" she asked.

"The one you dogs have in the comics," the host replied.

"I thought you never read the comics," fioan said. "How would you know if we did or did not have one?"

"Because a pushy fangirl (are you a girl Beef Dip Person?) who wanted me to write this chapter said you did," the host replied. "That's how I know."

"That was a robot clone," Fiona said looking away nervously. "I like Scourge."

"Scrooge?" the host asked.

"I didn't say Scrooge!"

"Scrouge McDuck? You're dating Scrooge Mcduck?!" the host gasped. "Wait until I tell Daisy!"

"I thought Daisy like Donald," Fiona said.

"She does but she's cheating behind his back with Scrooge," the host replied.

"You're weird," Fiona said, making a weirded out face.

"Why don't you like Sonic?" the host asked.

"Because he and Mighty left me for dead!" Fiona wailed, her eyes filing with tears. "Those meanies ran off and left me to die! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Meanies?"

"Yes, they are very mean," Fiona replied.

"Like how mean?"

"As mean as mean can be."

"That must be real mean."

"Yes it is."

"So when did you become evil?"

"Evil?" Fiona said. "I'm not really evil I'm with the freedom fighters and all that."

"And I bet you make out with Tails every chance you get."

"Yes I- What? STOP IT!"

"Why?"

"Because it's embarressing."

"Why?" the host asked. "Does it make you blush?"

"Yes, amoung other things."

"Oh really?"

"Really?"

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah it's good that I make you blush. That means I'm hitting a nerve and driving you crazy."

"Does not."

"Uh huh."

"Does not!" Fiona said, standing up. "and if you keep doing that I'm leaving."

"Fine," the host said. "Then I get this ice cream all to myself."

"You have ice cream?"

"Yup."

"Gimme."

"Nope," the host said.

"Why not?"

"Because you've been bad."

"Hmph!" Fiona humphed. "Fine. I don't need your ice cream! I'll buy my own!" then she stomped off the stage.

_A/N_

_There I did Fiona. I hope you people are happy. Just to let you know if you order me around and yell at me to do a certain character I won't interview them. I really don't need you people yelling at me. So can you please be patient and let me interview whoever I want? I am likely to get to the character you want eventually but if I have no ideas for them at the time I will interview the character I do have ideas for. Okay? _


	26. Emerl

CHAPTER 26 EMERL (or should I said Gizoid)

After Fiona had angrily stalked off the stage because she couldn't have any ice cream the host handed out the nutty butties to the audiance (because she can't eat it because she lactose intalerate) she brushed her hair back and said. "Okay, our next guest is that ability copying orange robot with becomes a destruction devise whe he has all the Chaos Emeralds and who 4kids can't seem to name right, please welcome Emerl!"

The crowd cheered as the orange robot came shyly onto the stage and sat down on the guest couch.

"Hello, Emerl," the host said, leaning toward him.

"Hello," the robot said, leaning back. Her closeness made him uncomfortable. "I heard you are the one who made mom cry."

The host stared at him. "Mom?" she said.

"Yeah, Mom," he said. "Why did you make Mom cry?"

The host was still weirded out. "Mom?" she said again. "Do you mean Amy Rose?"

"Yes," he said. "Mom."

"You got some kind of identity crisis?" the host asked.

"No," Emerl said. "Amy is my mom. She loves me."

"O...kay..." the host said not sure what to say. "I'm sure "mom" feels the same way." the host finally got her train of thought back. "So Emerl, how did you like your new name in the 4kids version of Sonic X?"

"That wasn't me," he said, looking offended at the question.

The host blinked in confusion. "It wasn't?" the host asked. "It sure _looked _like you."

"Nope," Emerl lied. "That was my twin brother. I forced him to play my part when I found out how stupidly they named me in the show. I mean. M.L.? What the hell is that suppost to mean? Muddy Laundry? Maniac Lunar? Monkey Llama? Melon Lemon? I mean, if they can't get my name right they shouldn't be given the rights to dub video game shows or any animje for that matter. And I didn't even get to talk and I hate the name Zoe." (He's refering to the names given to the Tokyo Mew Mews, preferably Ichigo (Strawberry). 4kids made them all mean Valley girls with dumb names. Thank God they didn't dub Yu Yu Hakusho and Chrono Crusade! By the way, I think Zakuro (Renee) might be Catholic. She's always wearing a cross necklase)

"Well you don't really talk in your game...," the host said, thinking back to when she played the game. "Well not very well at the beginning."

"I talk a lot in the game!" Emerl protested. "I learn how to talk better as I get more Chaos Emeralds. The least I could have gotten in that show was like one line. But noooo!"

The host chuckled. "I wonder what they would have done to Metal Sonic?" she said.

"Don't ask him," Emerl said. "Don't ask Gamma either. He smashed the TV when he heard his new voice."

The host sweatdropped. "I am going to have to interview those robots you know," the host said.

"I know that," Emerl said. "I wonder why Omega didn't have a stupid voice in _Shadow The Hedgehog?" _(Did you people notice that? Omega seemed to have his normal voice in the Shadow game.)

"I have no idea," the host said. "So Emerl. Are you a pervert?"

"Huh?" the robot stared at her. "What's a pervert?"

"Nevermind," the host said. "By the way, Emerl, I think Cream has a crush on you."

"WHAT?!" Emeral gasped.

"Didn't you notice how Cream was staring at you in the game and anime?" the host asked. "She looked like she wanted to make out with you or something."

"Are you nuts?" Emerl asked. "Cream's a six year old girl! She has no idea what real love is!"

"So who do you love, Emy?" the host asked shyly.

"Cosmo," he said.

"Cosmo!?" the host asked. "You never even met her!"

"I know," Emerl said. "But she looks like she would make a great partner. Just imagine it. Two robots together."

"Uh, Emerl," the host said.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Cosmo isn't a robot," the host said.

"She isn't?"

"She's a plant person," the host said. "She like one of Poison Ivy's mutant babys or something."

"WHAT!?"

"Seriously," the host said. "She looks like a creature from Pokemon. Like Vileplum or Bellossom or something." the host cracked up. "POKESONICMON! HAHAHAHHAAHAAA!"

"Eh...," Emerl said.

"So, Emy," the host said. "Why do you have two sides? Which side is the real you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is the evil Gizoid part the real you or the part that has a thing for Pokemon and calls Amy 'mother' the real you?" the host asked. The host started cracking up again. "Bellossom... hehehehheheee..."

"You're crazy you know that?" Emerl said.

"Not as crazy as you get when all seven Chaos Emeralds enter your body," the host said. "I still remember the part with you and Eggman in the Death Star. You tried to blow up the world."

"It wasn't Death Star," Emerl said. "It was the Death Egg."

"Well it l_ooked_ like Death Star," the host said. 'The only difference was that it had the word "Egg" in it instead of "Star". Anyway, you should really get ahold of yourself. Who do you think you are? Darth Vader?"

"NO," Emerl said. "Can't you ask me something not so weird?"

"Okay," the host said. "You have the ability to learn other peoples moves kinda like Metal Sonic could so if someone happened to fart a certain way near you could you copy that too?"

Emerl stared at the host. "I do not copy farts!" he informed her.

"Why not?" the host asked. "You copy everything else."  
"You're sick."

"And you're orange and blue," the host said. "What did you do? Get your color sceem from Naruto?"

"Who's Naruto?"

"Nevermind," the host said, looking at her watch. "Hey this interview is pretty long compared to my other ones. I wonder if that's a good thing?"

"I have no idea," the poor robot said.

"Emy," the host said.

"What?"

"Have you ever fallen in the bath?" the host asked with a straight face.

"WHAT?!"

The host cracked up. "HAHAHAHA! Nevermind," she said, waving him off. "I just wanted to see your reaction."

Tthat didn't even have anything to do with anything," Emerl pointed out.

"I know," the host said, grinning. "But I'm a random person."

"More like strange," he said.

"Yeah that too," the host said. "So how did it feel to blow up?"

"It wasn't fun," Emerl said. "It took Tails forever to find all my parts and rebuild me."

"Oh so you were rebuilt," the host said, looking him over. "No wonder your epidermis is showing."

"My what?" he looked at himself, embarressed.

The host started laughing. "You don't even _have_ an epidermis!" she cracked.

Emerl shook his head. "Are we done yet?" he asked.

"No," the host said. "I was going to ask you if Amy ever made you try on dresses for her."

"Mom tries on her own drsses," Emerl said. "Why would she need me to?"

"You're no fun," the host said pouting. She started waving him away. "Okay, I'm done. You may go now."

"Thank you," Emeral said getting up. "I can see now why Mom was crying.." he muttered as he walked away.

_A/N_

_I know a good deal about Emerl (Not M.L! I mean what the hell?!) cuz I got the game. It was real fun it even had some ShadowxRougeness in it (One of my fave pairings) Emerl is one of the few robots I like, besides the maniac named Metal Sonic, that I like. He's real cute and I wanna hug him. I was so excited when I found out he was going to be in Sonic X. I thought for sure they'd give him a voice cuz he can talk in the game but they didn't (not that I was too disapointed after the crappy job they did for Gamma and his brothers) When I found out what they were calling him I wanted to go to the 4kids dubbing place and kill everyone working there. I mean, M.L? That's as bad as Tiko!_ _Besides, the episodes he was in were stupid except the Ridiculous Spy Episode with all the kids. Helen is so cute, she looks like Maria. Maybe I'll interview Helen and Maria in here too later. Oh and yes, I think Cosmo looks like a Pokemon._


	27. Cosmo Edited

**I will get to Shahra when I have the time okay?**

**EDIT: I EDITED SOME STUFF OUT OF THIS CHAPTER SO I WOULDN'T GET INTO TROUBLE.**

CHAPTER 27 COSMO

After Emerl went off to find his 'mother' the host decided to do someone from the anime this time. "Okay people now I will do someone who isn't an animal and isn't a robot or a human," she began. "This person is a plant creature who has a weird obsession Planet Eggs and can turn into cherry trees. Please welcome that strange alien from the planet of Belossom, Cosmo!"

Cosmo came out into the studio as some people clapped, some cheered, and some booed. At one point she had to dodge a flying bottle of Round Up as a crazed Sonic fan shoited "Die you weed!" When she was safely on the stage the host ordered the audiance. "Please do not throw things while I'm conductiong the interview!"

The audiance of haters relunctantly complied.

"Thanks," Cosmo said.

"No problem, Beloss-I mean Cosmo," the host said. "So Cosmo, do you like being named after the Fairly Odd Parents?"

"Faily Odd Parents?" she asked because she had never heard of the show.

"Yeah," the host said folding her arms and explaining things like she was a tour guide. 'There is a fairygod parent named Cosmo. He's got green hair and acts like a total doof. " the host chuckled. "Not that _you_ don't sometimes."

"I do not act like a doof!" she exclaimed defensively.

"No, maybe not but you think you have to be "worthy" to hold the Chaos Emeralds," the host cracked up. "If that was the case half the Sonic cast wouldn't be able to touch them!"

"I did not feel worthy," Cosmo said.

"Hmm," the host said, looking Cosmo over. "Did you know you look like a Pokemon?"

"Pokemon?" Cosmo asked. "What's a Pokemon?"

"A creature you catch in Pokeballs," the host replied. "They usually look weird. Instead of talking they usually just say their name." the host grinned. "Unless they're special or teach themeselves to talk. Infact I only now of four who _can_ talk. Lugia, Team Rockets Meowth, a Slowking on Orange island, and Mewtwo. Hehhehee. But, since I haven't seen the how in a long time, I bet more can talk now"

"I'm not a Pokemon," Cosmo said, offended. "And I do not say my name all the time."

"You sure?" the host asked. "When those spouts on the side of your head bloom you remind of a Pokemon called Belossom."

"Belossom?" Cosmo said, pointing at herself. "Me?"

"Yeah you," the host said. "Who else would I be talking about? Wave the Swallow?"

"I'm not a Belossom."

'Then what are you?"

"I..."

"See you don't even know," the host said. "Belossom."

"I'M _NOT_ A BELOSSOM!" Cosmo shouted.

"Doesn't matter what you are!" the host yelled back. "Your head blooms! You're a freak! I wouldn't be surprised if you gave someone hay fever with all the pollen you produce. No wonder Shadow tried to kill you."

"Shadow is a mean man!" Cosmo wailed. "I didn't do anything to him and he tried to kill me!"

"Yeah and now stupid fans think he'd your stalker and pair you up with him," the host grumbled. "Shadow should only be with Rouge, Maria, or (in my little sister's case) Blaze. You are too worthless and pointless to be paired up with someone as awesome as him! You mutant freak."

"I'm _not _a mutant freak!" Cosmo wailed, tears coming to her eyes. "Why do you hate me so much?"

"I _never_ liked you," the host said. "The moment I saw you I didn't like you. You look like a Belossom and Gazoo love child."

"Gazoo?"

"He's from the Flintstones cartoon," the host replied. "And I think I spelled his name wrong."

"I am not a love child," Cosmo said. "I came from a cherry tree."

"So you're a flower child?" the host said. "A crazy hippie who is against war and smokes weed."

"I don't smoke my cousins!" she exclaimed. "I'm no cannibel!"

"Whatever," the host said. "But what's with the hair?" the host asked, grabbing the hair. "What were you trying to do? Pathetically attempt to mimic Raven's from the Teen Titans?"

"That's not hair!" Cosmo exclaimed. "Those are leaves!"

"You know, the more you say the more I can use against you," the host said. "Besides your voice stinks and Tails is too good for you."

"My voice does not stink!"

"Yes it does!" the host said. "What were you going for anyway? A british accent? Were you trying to sound like Tikal?" fire appeared behind the host as she said angrily. "You will _never_ be as good as Tikal! Tikal could Pwn you in two seconds flat!"

"I don't even know who Tikal as," Cosmo said. "And as for Tails. Well what can I say? We both needed it."

"What is that suppost to mean?" the host demanded.

"What do you think it means?" Cosmo challenged.

"You can't have sex with an eight year old!!?" the host exclaimed.

"That's not what I meant!" cosmo protested. "I meant we both needed a good friend."

"Oh," the host said calming down. "I thought you meant something else."

"Uh no," Cosmo said. "I'm not a whore you know."

"I know that," the host said. "Now would you please leave before I blow up at you."

"But," Cosmo began. "We're not done with our-"

"OUT!" the host screamed, pointing toward the door. "I DON'T WANT TO BLOW UP AT YOU AND GET BANNED FOR IT!"

"But, but I-" Cosmo began.

"GET OUT BEFORE I CHOP YOU UP WITH THE WEED WACKER!" the hosty roared, picking up a weed wacker and turning it on.

Cosmo backed away in fear then hi tailed it out of the studio.

The host panted then calmed down. She sat down in her chair and sighed. "Next time I'll interview someone I like..." she muttered wiping sweat from her forehead.

_A/N_

_I really really don't like Cosmo (and I have an ear infection that's putting me in a very bad mood). She's so freakin useless and talks stupidly. Whenever I see her on Sonic X I want to burn her up. I was so happy when I got to see the episode where Shadow tried to kill her. Then again, I enjoy episodes where people are hurting her and Chris (Or don't appear at all) since I hate them both. And Yes I have seen some ShadowxCosmo fanart and it makes me so mad. Shadow doesn't even like her. STOP IT ALREADY! HE DOESN'T LOVE HER!_

_EDIT: I DID NOT MEAN TO BE SO MEAN SO COSMO SO I EDITED SOME OF THIS CHAPTER. _


	28. Maria Robotnick

**Apology: Once again I am very sorry for the way I treated Cosmo. If you want I'll redo the chapter and take stuff out of it if it offended you. I didn't mean for it to make anyone mad. (Someone got so mad they think I should be banned from the site) So yeah. If you really want me to redo the chapter I will and take some stuff out too. **

CHAPTER 28 Maria Robotnick

After the host finaly calmed down (and send Cosmo a note of apology) she decided to try to get her good name back. "Okay people," the host said, paranoid now and waiting for things to be thrown at her. "Seeing as someone got so mad at me that they wanted me banned from the site I will try to keep my rants in low calm form and won't blow up again. I'll also interview someone I'm sure a lot of us really like. So our next guest is that kind hearted girl who was good friends with Shadow and died way too young. Please welcome Maria Robotnick!"

The crowed cheered as Maria with angel wings floated into the room and sat down on the couch.

"Hello, Maria," the host said.

"Hello mean person," she said. "I hope you're not going to be nasty to me like you were to Cosmo."

"No I won't call you a hoe," the host said. "Now can you please not mention that anymore. If I haven't had an ear infection I never would have said those things."

"You shouldn't take your problems out on someone else," Maria said wisely. "Or use health problems to make excuses."

"Sorry," the host grumbled.

"Okay then," Maria said. "Now that you know you did something bad let's get this interview over with, okay?"

"Okay," the host said. "So Ummm." she had to think for a long time before she could think of anything to say. "Maria, when you and Shadow lived on ARK did you ever play practical jokes on the scientists?"

"Well yeah we did," Maria said smiling at the memory. "Once we set off a stink bomb while they were working on an experiment and they all ran outside couching." she giggled. "It's just too bad me and him had to clean up all the dead lizards once they found out."

"O...kay," the host said. "I never knew that."

"Yeah me and Shadow were real good friends," Maris told the host. "It's just too bad that GUN had to ruin everything." she pouted. "Mean old Military people."

"Yet you forgave them for killing you," the host said. "And asked Shadow to make people on earth happy."

"Hey did he by the way?" Maria asked, looking up expectantly.

"Well..." the host said. "Not at first."

Maria's face filled with panic. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"He tried to blow up the world," the host replied. "He thought that's what you wanted."

"WHAT!?"

"He doesn't want to anymore!" the host said quickly. "He works for the government now."

"Oh," Maria said. "That's good."

"So is it safe to say you and him were more than just friends?" the host asked.

Maria blushed slightly. "Well he did consider me a mother figure if that's what you mean," she said.

"Well not exactly," the host said. "I meant like lovers or something."

"No way!" Maria exclaimed. "I'm not a zoophiliac."

"Okay then," the host said. "Sorry."

"Okay then," Marai said smiling. "I just hope that evil monster Black Doom didn't do anything bad to him."

"Well he wanted Shadow to become evil and kill people," the host said.

"He did?" Maria asked worriedly, putting her hands up in a praying position. "I hope he didn't hurt him."

"He didn't," the host said. "Shadow beat the crap out of Black Doom and saved the world."

"Good," Maria said, standing up. "And that's all I wanted to know. Good bye."

"Hey!" the host exclaimed. "We're not done yet!"

"I know," Marai said, looking over her shoulder. "But I don't want to stick around long enough to be made fun off especially since I don't have anything you could use against me." she smiled and waved. "See ya later." then she flapped her wings and flew back up to heaven.

_A/N_

_I cannot think of much to talk to Maria about because she's so nice and sweet and I can't stand it when people say bad things about her (shoes on the other foot now). Anyway I am once again sorry for how I treated Cosmo and I hope I don't get banned for it. If I get banned I'll know who to blame (Baron Von Beef Dip). If I do get banned I'll got crazy! I'll have to rewrite all my fics all over again! Oh please don't get me banned! Oh and another thing I will redo that chapter if you really want me to. _


	29. Rouge Part 2

CHAPTER 29 ROUGE PART 2

After Maria flew off to heaven the host decided it was time to re-interview one of her guests that hardly got any time. "Okay people if you would all control yourselves this time I would like to re-introduce Rouge the bat!"

The crowd cheered as Rouge came cat walking back into the room and sat down on the sofa.

"Hello again, Rouge," the host said.

"Hello again to you too," Rouge said leaning back on the sofa.

"Can we go through your interview this time without you breaking into song?"

"Sure. Fire away."

"Okay," the host said. "So Rouge what is your relationship with Knuckles?"

"I... well," Rouge said blushing and looking away. "well there isn't exactly one but there could be..."

"What about Shadow?" the host asked. "Lately from what I read about the new games you and him have been becoming much closer. Would it be safe to say there's a love triangle going on here?"

"Well... I...uh..." Rouge stammered, her face turning dark red. "There might be..."

"I see," the host said, grinning.

"What are you smiling about?" Rouge demanded.

"Oh, nothing, " the host chuckled. "So Rouge why does your voice make you sound like you're 'trying' to be sexy?"

"Because my voice actor doesn't know squate about how to do a good job," Rouge replied, a dark cloud hanging over her head. "My old voice worked better. I didn't sound like I was trying to be sexy (though I sounded a bit cue cardy at first) besides it sounded better. I didn't sound like an old lady doing a seventeen year old's voice."

"That's right, you _are_ seventeen," the host said.

"I don't think my voice actor knows that though," Rouge brooded. "I think she thinks I'm much older..."

"Well maybe it's gotten better now," the host said.

"What do you mean "maybe"?" Rouge demanded.

"When I played my Shadow The Hedgehog game I played it with the japanese voices because I couldn't stand the english ones, except Espio's," the host replied.

"That's no fun," Rouge told her. "How do you plan on understanding what's going on if you only play it in Japanese?"

"Subtitles," the host replied.

"Oh."

The host stared at Rouge thoughtfully for a moment until the bat got nervous. "What?" she asked.

"Did you know you remind me of a Zubat?" the host asked.

"What?!" Rouge exclaimed. "I don't even _look_ like a Zubat!"

"I know," the host said. "The first time I saw your picture I thought you were a cat with wings."

"I'm not a cat either!"

"I know that but I didn't at the time," the host replied. "I hadn't even played the Sonic games until that anime came out and I watched it. Actually Knuckles was the one who got me interested in the games. I thought he was cool so I bought Sonic Adventure 2 Battle for the Gamecube. Needless to say, I was surprised at how different his voice sounded in it." she giggled. "At that time I had no idea what Shadow sounded like so when I heard _his_ voice I practically melted. Me and my sis were like "Oh wow! He sounds so HOT!"

"What about my voice?" Rouge wanted to know.

"I thought it sounded pretty," the host replied.

"Why thank you," Rouge said, her head beginning to swell. "I know it was."

"So moving on," the host said, not wanting to give the bat girl a big ego. "Why are you so obsessed with stealing Knuckles Master Emerald? Do you get a kick out of making him angry."

"I'm just stealing his one true love," the bat girl replied. "He worships that gem. I figure if he's going to act like that around it, it needs to be taken away from him. That and I like jewels," Rougue added, starry eyed.

"Oye," the host said. "Is doing that like theropy?"

"I wouldn't say that," Rouge replied. "The last time I stole it Knuckes got so mad he tried to choke me."

"So much for _that_ relationship," the host commented. "Any guy who tries to choke a girl isn't worth it."

"Tell me about it," Rouge said. "The only reason I don't date Vector is because if he rolled over on me he'd squash me."

The host stared at him. "Eh... you'd sleep with Vector?"

"No!" Rouge exclaimed, "I ment if he fell on top of me."  
"... not any better," the host commented.

"Isnt' there anything I could say that wouldn't give you the wrong idea?"

The host thought a moment. "No," she finally said.

Rouge fell over.

"Anyway," the host said thinking for a moment. "I can't seem to think of anything else to ask you."

"Why not?"

"Because a little incident last week totally sucked out my creative juices," the host replied.

"Oh, that's too bad," Rouge said with sympathy.

"I know," the host said, all depressed. "Maybe something will come to me later."

"Do you want me to come back again?"

"Naw," the host said. ''I don't want to have you wearing out your welcome."

"Okay," Rouge said, getting up. "Good bye then."

"Good bye."

Thus ended the second interview with Rouge the bat.

_A/N_

_ARGH! IT'S LEFT ME! My creativity is gone! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Great. Just great. I'm sorry if this chapter was lame. I tried my best but... I'm having a downer right now. I hope you all understand. Sorry. _


	30. Black Doom

CHAPTER 30 BLACK DOOM

After Rouge went off to flirt with Shadow and Knuckles the host decided to get her creative juices flowing by interviewing someone she had a little less respect for. "Okay people," she said smiling. "I decided to try to interview someone who was just recently introduced as an alien villian from the Black Comet of Destruction. So our next guest will be that flying, three eyed alin freak who stalks Shadow and had no lower body. Please welcome Black Doom!"

The studio grew dark as the evil alien came flying into the room. A lot of the people in the audiance hid behind their chairs. Black Doom noticed. "Are you afraid of me?" he asked in his deep breathy Darth Vader voice. "Good! Fear the mighty alien! MWAHAHAHAAAHAHAA!"

"Cut that out!" the host ordered, throwing a shoe at his head. "And get your invisable butt over here before I grab you by your hanging bling bling and drag you over."

"Watch your mouth, you puny human girl," Black Doom threatened. "Or I will have my black Arms come and suck out your brain."

"Nah," the host said. "You wouldn't want my brain. It would blow up your comet." she beckoned with her finger. "Now get ova' here!"

"Hmm Fine," Black Doom said, turning from the audiance and floating over to the guest couch. Since he had no ass he couldn't sit down and floated in the air above the couch.  
"Oooooo," the host said batting one of Black Doom's hanging chain things. "Pwetty."

"Hey, stop it!" Black Doom ordered.

"Okay fine," the host said, leaning back and looking up at him. "So Doomy. Can I call you doomy?"

"No," he said.

"Aww, why not?" the host asked.

"Because that's not my name," he said.

"Whatever," the host said shrugging. "Anyway. Black Doom. Why are you so crazy? Why do you like to play the devil on Shadow's back?"

"Shadow is one of my kind," Black Doom said. 'He is suppost to help me and my army of mutant lizards destroy all the humans on earth so I can become the supreme ruler."  
"Okay," the host said. "But do you realize half the things you want him to do involve doing things that your army can do as well?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean like those weird alien power switches in the canyon with the tornados," the host said. "Your men are like walking around those things and you want him to activate them. Why don't you just have your men activate them since they are already loafing around those spots and walking in front of them?"

"Hmm," Black Doom said, thoughfully. "Good question. I do not have an answer for you right now."

"Idiot," the host said.

"What did you call me?!" Doom demanded, getting in her face.

The host wacked him with a baseball bat. "You have bad breath!" she shouted.

"Ow!" Doom exclaimed, grabbing his face. "You hit me in my third eye! Oh the pain! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" he started crying big gushy tears.

"Stop that!" the host ordered, opening an umbrella to keep from getting wet. "You're gonna flood the studio."

"But you hit me! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Sorry," the host said.

"That's better," Doom said, not crying anymore.

"Hey," the host said. "Were you faking?"

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I think you're a lousy father," she replied.

He stared at her. "Lousy father?!" he demanded. "I don't even have any kids!"

"Because Shadow disowned you," she replied.

"What? Shadow isn't my kid!"

"Well he's got your dumb DNA in his body so in a way he is," she replied. "Your son has absolutely no respect for you."

"HE'S _NOT_ MY SON!" Doom shouted.

"Tell that to all the fans out there," the host said. "I'm sure almost all of them have played the game. I'm sure they got the same impression when you were like "you were made from my DNA blah blah blah..." they probably all thought. "That thing is Shadows father?!" or something like that." she folded her arms. "Course I haven't beaten the game yet but that's what I heard."

"But I'm _not_ his father," he protested. "I just wanted him created so he'd help me take over the world!"

"You still used your DNA, bub," the host said. "If you took any DNA test of this at any hospital they'd say "oh he's the father' you can't fight it! MWAHAHAHAA!"

Black Doom became depressed. "I hate it when fans twist things," he said. "I do not think that was the creator's intentions. Next they'll have him being paired up with me."

"Don't give them any ideas," the host said, making a face. "That would be gross! EW! EW! EWWWW!"

"Hey don't blame me if they do that," he told her. "I'm not the one with the sick mind."

"Okay...umm let's move on to another topic," the host said quickly. She thought for a few moments, trying to ask him another question. "Umm does it hurt to remove the third eye from your body?"

"What?" he asked.

"Well you have like three eyes and like your third eye can be removed from your body and fly around and bother Shadow," the host replied. "It must really hurt removing that thing from your body." she made a face. "I know if I had three eyes and constantly ripped out the third one I'd have some complications by now."

"That is because you are a pathetic human," Doom replied. He put a hand to his chest and said in a braggy voice. "Us aliens can do lotsa things you humans cannot do."

"Yeah like walk around without our lower halves," the host commented. "No wonder you have no girlfriend."

"Why would I want one?" he asked.

"I dunno," the host said trying to imagine Black Doom with a girlfriend. "She'd probably have a real stupid name to and be designed after you... Pink Boom?" the host cracked up. "HAHHAAAA!"

"What are you laughing at?" he demanded.

"I imagined you with a pink color and a bow on your head," the host said snickering. "Yeah she would be you, just recolored. Hahahahhaahaa!"

"You are a strange human.," he commented.

"And you are a psychotic alien," the host told him. "I'm surprised you and Dr. Eggman didn't team up and like take over the world together."

"Eggman is a human," Black Doom said. "I don't work with humans."

"Yeah instead you stalk amnesiatic hedgehogs and use the whole "I'll give you your memory back" bribe to get them to do what you want them to do."

"Hey if it works it works." then he realized what she'd said. "I do not stalk hedgehogs!"

"Yeah whatever you say," the host reached up and grabbed Dooms Eye.

"Hey what do you think you're doing?!" he roared.

"I," she began holding the one eyed alien octopus thing to herself. "Always thought your fying eye thing was kinda cute so I'm gonna keep it as a pet."

"YOU CAN'T KEEP MY EYE AS A PET!" he shouted, trying to take it back. "THAT'S A PART OF ME! I NEED IT!"

"I wanna keep it," she said, holding it away from him.

"GIVE IT BACK YOU NO GOOD BITCH!" he roared, grabbing her and shaking her.

"LET ME ALONE!" she shouted back, pulling out pepper spray and spraying it into his face.

"GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed, letting her go and putting his hands over his eyes. "I've been blinded for life!"

"Serves you right," the host said, still holding onto the third eye. "Nuts like you shouldn't be allowed to take over anything."

"Nuts like me? _You're _the one with the pepper spray," he said, grabbing onto the third eye and yanking it from her. "Give me that."

She was forced to let go so she did. "Hmph!" she pouted. "You're no fun!" she pointed toward the door. "GET OUT!"

"Fine with me," he said, turning to go. "You just gave me another reason to want to kill humans."

A paint can went flying through the air and bonked him in the back of the head. "GAH!" he shouted. "AHH MY EYE!"

The host ran under him and grabbed his eye. She ran off laughing.

"HEY GIVE THAT BACK!" he shouted, chasing after her.

_A/N_

_Aww you'l never understand. Doom's Eye looks like a Pokemon. lol. I think I got my creative juices flowing again. I would have interviewed Shahra but Wikipedia hardly had anything about her and I don't own a Wii so I can't get the Secret Rings. _


	31. Omega

CHAPTER 31 OMEGA

After Black Doom finally got his third eye back from the host and left the host returned to her chair and sulked for a moment before she decided to interview her next victom. "Okay people," she said after a view minutes. "Our next guest is that vengeful robot that nobody really likes but somehow ended up in fandom anyway. Please welcome Omega!"

There was some clapping as the robot came out onto the stage and sat down.

"Okay, Omega," the host said. "Since you are such a boring character and since I don't have much to make fun of you about let's just get down to business."

"Business?" Omega asked, confused. 'That does not compute."

"Eh?" the host said, looking him over. "What do you mean business does not compute? It means we're going to start this interview whether I know enough about you or not."

"Uh okay," he said. "What do you want to know?"

"Were you just created as a character to be a filler?"

"A filler?"

"Yeah a random character that was created to make Team Dark have a third membor but not have a very interesting back story or reason for being there." the host explained.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he admitted. "My backstory and reasons were very good."

"Sure they were," the host said. "You were just mad at Eggman for turning you off because you were defective."

"I AM _NOT _DEFECTIVE!" he shouted.

"Oh yes you are," the host said. "And I feel so sorry for poor Rouge haveing to carry your fat body around. She may be a bat but that doesn't mean her wings are bionic."

"Rouge is stronger than she looks," he said.

"Not strong anough to carry a two ton robot around for very long," the host commented. "No wonder she has a limited time to fly like that."

"She's got a time limit anyway."

"I'm not here to talk about poor Rouge and Shadow," the host said. "I am here to ask you why you had to be such a jerk and attack poor Shadow. Did you want him to think you were his mommy or something by giving him even worse amnesia?"

"No," Omega said. "I thought he was Eggman's robot."

"Shadow isn't even a robot," the host told him. "I don't care what Rouge said. He's like a biogramic something or another. For all you know he could be an android or a cyborg."

"I have no idea."

"Course you don't. You're stupid."

"I AM NOT!"

"Yes you are," the host said. "and boring. Nobody likes you. They think you're useless and annoying."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

'Do not."

'Do too."

"HAHAHAHA! You agreed with me!"

"What?" then he realized he was tricked. "Hey!"

"Ha!"

"Be quite." Omega ordered. "Stupid girl."

"Why'd you have to throw a temper tantrom just because Eggman locked you in a closet?" the host asked. She started making whiny noises and face. "Oh boo whoo! Daddy Eggman is so mean locking me in the closet because I was bad! He's so mean! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! I hate him! I want revenge!"

"It wasn't like that at all!"

"Sure seemed like it."

"It wasn't like that."

"Whatever," the host said. "I haven't played Sonic Heroes in over a year," the host admitted. "and if I did play it again it would just be so I could hear Shadow's hot old voice."

"You're a strange human."

"That I know," the host said. "And you're a whiny robot who hates Eggman for no reason. Is it because you're not his favorite anymore? You do realize Metal Sonic is more a threat to you than Eggman? Since he can shape shift."

"Metal Sonic is a fello robot."

"And a homocidal maniac," the host added. "Who happens to be the most evil and most awesome character in the games besides Shadow." the host got heart eyes. "he's so awesome and cute and daw..." she started to swoon.

"You're a Metal Sonic fangirl aren't you?"

"So what if I am?" the host said, getting into Omega's face. "You got a problem with that?!"

"If you tried to glomp him he'll impale you with his claws." the robot said blandly.

"I _know_ that," the host said. "But either way he's much cooler than you." the host looked at her watch. "I wonder why they even wasted their time putting you in another game. You're not even helpful in it."

"I am too."

"You are not. All you do it follow him around and randomly say things to sound cool."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Let's not start that again."

"You started it."

"No I didn't," the host said. "You started it by saying. "Do not." Just like before."

"Hmph!"

"You know that?" the host said.

"What?"

"This interview is over," the host said. "Good bye now."

"Hey, but what about-"

Omega never got to finish. The host pressed a button that ejected Omega out of his seat and into the air. "Enjoy your flight!" the host said, waving after him.

_A/N_

_Omega is not one of my favorite characters. He's one of the boring ones and kinda useless. I hate using him in Sonic Heros and usually try to just play Shadow. _


	32. Chuck Thorndike

CHAPTER 32 CHUCK THORNDIKE

After Omega completed his round the world trip the host put the cusion back on the couch and pulled out a bottle of Gatoraid. "All right, people," she said, sipping the drink. "Since I haven't done one of them in awhile I'll interview someone from the anime. Our next guest is that crazy haired old man who seems to know everything about Shadow though he's never met him. Please welcome Chuck Thorndike, Chris Thorndike's grandfather!"

Clapping and booing met the old man as he came out of the guest lounge and sat down on the guest sofa.

"So Chucky," the host said. "How ya been?"

"I've been pretty good," the old man said. "But please don't call me Chucky."

"Okay, fine with me," the host said. "So Chuck, why is it that you bare a striking resemblance to the scientist guy from _Back To The Future_?"

"I have no idea," Chuck said. "Maybe the animators were looking at a picture of him when they drew me."

"Oh really?" the host said. "That might explain things."

"I guess..."

"Is it true that you're a pedophile?"

"A what?"

"A pedophile," the host said. "A sick perverted old man that likes little girls and boys."

"No," Chuck replied. "I'm not a pedophile. I'm a scientist."

"Who seems to know things about stuff that you have never seen before," the host said. "Like the Chaos Emeralds. How do you know so much about them and Shadow if you have never seen them before the Sonic gang got to your planet?"

"I'm a know it all," Chuck said in a braggy voice.

"That you are," the host commented. "And a dereanged mad scientist."  
"I'm not deranged!"

"Maybe not deranged but you do have something wrong with you," the host replied. "My sister says you only pay attention to the Sonic crew because you want to conduct experiments on them."

'That's not true either!"

"Don't give me that!" the host shouted. "I saw you try to open up Sonic with a screw driver!"

"I thought he was a robot."

"A robot without metal?"

"I thought it might be an android."

"Yeah and I'm Kikyo from_Inuyasha_!" the host shot back.

"Hello there Kikyo," Chuck said.

"Ass."

"I'm not an ass."

"Sure you are," the host said. "Sometimes you act like a total jerk to the Sonic characters. You act like you know what's best for them."

"No that's Chris and he does."

"No he doesn't! He's not their DAD and neither are you!" the host stood up in her chair and loomed over Chuck threateningly. "You gay human characters think you're so great well let me tell you this. Nobody likes you! The only humans they like are Eggman and Maria because they belong!"

"I thought you liked Helen."

"I do," the host said. "Because she's the only Sonic X human character who doesn't act like a complete moron."

"Are you saying I do?"

"Of course."

"Now that's being biased."

"I don't care what it is," the host said, sitting back down. "Most fans of the show think you're lame. If there was a Chuck Thorndike hating club on Deviantart I'd join."

"Isn't there a Chris hating club on there?"

"Yes and I own it," the host said. "More people hate Chris than like him. Hahahahah!"

"You're getting off topic."

"Yeah, I know," the host said. She stared at Chuck for awhile. "You know, you DO look like that _Back To The Future _guy."

"So?"

"I think it's about time I sent you back there!" the host said, pushing a button.

The cusion under Chuck suddenly launched into orbit and the old man flew off screaming.

_A/N_

_I was running out of characters. I had to use someone from the anime even if it was old ugly Chuck. When I said "Gay" I ment retarded. I'm not saying gay people are retarded I'm just using the word as a reference to something retarded. Maybe I'll start interviewing NIGHTs characters..._


	33. NiGHTS

CHAPTER 33 NiGHTS

After the host stopped laughing like an insane lunatic (After looking at crazy fanart on Deviantart) she calmed down enough to introduce the next guest. "Okay people, our next guest is that strange bright colored wearing jester that possesses kids for fun, and has a strange way spelling of the name. Please welcome NiGHTS!"

Crazy fan girls nearly jumped out of their seats as the Nightmaren came floating out of the guest lounge. NiGHTS stared at the girls in fear as they held up strange signs saying I LOVE YOU, NiGHTS! and NiGHTSXREALA 4EVER.

"Hey NiGHTS!" the host called, waving to him/her/it. "Over here!"

The Nightmaren flew over to the guest couch and sat down, still staring at fear at the fangirls.

"Ignore them," the host said. "I have an electric fense up that keeps all fangirls at bay in their seats so they can drool all they want but not touch."

"Thank goodness," NiGHTS said, sighing in relief.

"So NiGHTS," the host said. "Is it true that you dress that way because you're a reject from the circus?"

"Circus?"

"Yeah, the place with clowns and other such weirdos."

"Are you saying I'm a weirdo?"

"Well not really," the host said. "But the way you dress and the fact that you look like a jester would give people strange ideas."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I never played the game."

"Oh."  
"NiGHTS. Are you gender confused?"

"What?"

"Well nobody knows your real gender so does that mean you're gender confused or you just won't tell people because it's embarressing?"

"Actually the creators didn't give me a specific gender so that means I am a little of both or fans can make up their own minds about me."  
"So if I wanna make you a girl it won't bother you?"

"No."

"And if I make you a boy...?"

"It won't bother me either."  
"Does that make you're transexual?"

"Eh?" the Nightmaren made a weirded out face. "What's a transexual?"

"Someone who was born one gender but thinks they're another and gets a sex change."  
"If that's the case. No, I am not."

"Oh. Okay." the host started laughing. "So if you're paired up with Reala it can be either yaoi or straight?! HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAA! I wonder how often that happens?!"

"You're a weirdo," NiGHTS said. "Besides, why would I want to date Reala? We're rivals and like hate each other."  
"I dunno. Fangirls have strange imaginations."

"I can tell."

"So, _do_ you love Reala?"

"WTF!? I JUST SAID I DIDN'T!"  
"Do you mean that?"

"Yes."

The host grinned insanely. "Do you love me?"

"What? I don't even know you."

"Do you want to?" the host looked at him/her/whatever flirtiously.

"Umm I don't think you wanna start that. For all you know I could be a girl."

"You said you could be either-or," the host said.

"Yeah but..." NiGHTS lost it. "CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THIS INTERVIEW BEFORE YOU CONFUSE ME ABOUT MYSELF?!"

"Okay,' the host said. "So does Wizman wizz a lot?"

"What?"

"The villian in your game is named Wizman or something like that. Does that mean he wizzes on everything?"

"I don't know. You'd have to ask him," NiGHTS replied. "The weirdo locked me in a shrine remember?"

"I do remember reading that somewhere," the host said thoughtfully. "So do you possess little children? Are you a pedophile?"

"Have you been reading the Archie comic of the game? and no I am not a pedophile."  
"Sorta, but the art looked real crappy."

"Yes it is and it's not completely acurate either. Don't believe it or think it's canon."

"So do you possess kids?"

"I won't answer."

"Okay then... do you like _Beast Wars_?"

"What?"

"Have you ever watched _Beast Wars_?"

"No I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"I don't get cable in the Dreamworld."

"That sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"Soo, Umm NiGHTS."

The Nightmaren gave her a suspicous look. "What?"

"Is your hat really your body?"

"What?"

"What do you have under your weird hat? Hair? Horns? Your twin?"

"My what?!"

"Is your hat really your body and the part I see that's talking to me is that really your tongue?"

"WHERE DID YOU GET SUCH A STUPID IDEA?!" The Nightmaren demanded, looming angrily over the host. "IT'S JUST A FREAKIN HAT!"

"Then take it off."

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Because my hair has a bad case of the frizz."

"Oh."

"Do you want to ask me anything else?" NiGHTS asked clearly annoyed at the host and her weird thoughts and questions.

"Nope that's about it Mr. Overly Affectionate."

"So can I go now?"

"Go ahead but I must warn you, avoid getting too close to the audiance. Some of the fangirls are immune to electricity and might get out and glomp you to death."

'Thank's I'll remember that." Then NiGHTS outsmarted everyone by flying out of the studio and getting sucked into a rift in time and space! Fangirls groaned in disappointment.

_A/N_

_I felt like doing NiGHTS. That Nightmaren is very adorable in my mind but I reframed from acting like a total fantard infront of him/her/it/whatever. Sorry. I saw some completely random and strange NiGHTS fanart on Deviantart and I got weird ideas in my head. That and the fact that now I desperately want the game:does not own a Sega Saturn: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Also incase you didn't know. I found out that NiGHTS is Androgyny which means the Nightmaren has no specific gender. (The official thing for the game said this) I interviewed NiGHTS because he/she/it makes a few appearences in the Sonic games and was created by Sonic Team so in a way the Nightmaren is a Sonic character.  
_

_And I loved watching Beast Wars when I was younger. My favorite character was that sting ray guy and Dinobot. :D_

_If you don't like me interviewing NiGHTS chracters I won't do it anymore. _


	34. Mephiles

CHAPTER 34 MEPHILES

After NiGHTS flew back to the dream world the host said. "Okay then, that was strange so now let's interview someone else," she smiled and said. "Our next guest is that creepy blue and black hedgehog thing that looks like he's made of crystal and stalks Shadow the hedgehog. Please welcome Mephiles!"

The crowd cheered as the weird hedgehog came into the room and sat down on the guest couch.

"Hey, Memphies," the host said.

"I'm Mephiles," the hedgehog corrected.

"Whatever. So Mephiles, why did you chose Shadow's shadow to give you a form?" the host asked. "What is so great about his shadow? Is there something you're not telling us?"

"What do you mean by that?" Mephiles asked.

"I duuno, like maybe he was a role modle to you or something," the host said. "or you're inlove with him and-"

"WHAT?!" Mephiles exclaimed. "I am _not_ inlove with Shadow!"

"MephilesxShadow fangirls think different," the host said. "though they might be right in this case because I heard that you keep on bothering Shadow and lowering his self esteam and stuff to make him emo and suicidale... or something like that."

"You fangirls blow everything out of proportion," Mephiles said, folding his crystal like arms. "I'm not inlove with Shadow I just wanted him to be on my side."

"Sure _sounds_ like you're inlove with him," the host said, grinning.

"No!"

"Are you in denial?"

"NO!"

"Are you inlove with Silver?"

"No and stop asking me such stupid questions!"

"Okay then, why do you like to make little girls cry?" the host asked. "Do you like being a big meanie?"

"I only made Elise cry because she had the Iblis trigger," Mephiles replied.

_"And_ because you're big meanie!" the host shot back. "Meanie! Meanie! Mephiles is a big meanie!"

"I'm not a big meanie!" Mephiles exclaimed. "Well I am but I have reasons."

"Because you want to blow up the world," the host said.

"Something like that," Mephiles replied, chuckling.

"Do, you like the fact that someone out there wants to blow your brains out?" the host asked.

"And who would that be?"

Before the host could reply a voice shouted. "There you are, you no good fire beast!"

The two looked toward the guest lounge and spotted Silver standing in the doorway, glaring hatefully at Mephiles. "I finally found you!" the white hedgehog exclaimed. He lifted off the ground and flew toward Mephiles. "Now I'm gonna end all your destruction! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh shoot!" Mephiles exclaimed, standing up. "That lunatic is back!" He went into a stance as if to fight then... then ran!

"You won't get away from me this time, Mephiles!" Silver shouted, flying after him. "You will pay for all the evil you have done!"

"Hey!" the host shouted as the two ran around the studio. "Knock it off! Silver I already interviewed you! Get out of here!"

"YOU WILL DIE, MEPHILES!" Silver shouted, shooting pyschic energy at the crystal hedgehog. "I will kill you for sure this time!"

"Don't count on it, feather head!" Mephiles shot back. "You cannot kill me! MWAHAHAHA!"

"Don't call me that, you freak of nature!"

"Stop it, you two!" the host ordered, getting out of her chair and chasing after the hedgehogs. "I will not stand for you guys trashing my studio! Get out of here before I have security drag you out!"

BOOOOOOOOM! Static then screens went dark.

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU JUST BLEW UP ALL THE CAMERAS!"

_A/N_

_I'll end it here. I'll write the aftermath of that battle in the next chapter. Lol. _


	35. Wave The Swallow

CHAPTER 35 WAVE THE SWALLOW

After the host finally got her equiptment fixed and replaced she kicked the fighting Silver and Mephiles out of the studio and sat down in her new chair. "Okay people our next guest is that purple bird that looks like a Blaze color thief and rivals Rouge in Sonic Riders. Please welcome Wave the swallow!"

The crowd cheered as the purple swallow walked over to the couch and sat down.

"Hello, Wave," the host said. "Glad to have you here."

"Thank you," Wave said. "I'm happy to be here."

"So, Wavey," the host said. "Tell me, do you have a crush on Jet?"

Wave blushed and looked away. "I don't think that's any of your business," she said.

"Oh yeah?" the host challenged. "Did you know he's got the bird flu?"

Wave stared at the host in horror. "He _does_?!" she gasped.

The host nodded, grinning wickedly.

"Ohmygosh!" the bird exclaimed. "And I-We- oh no!"

The host stared. "What did you do?"

"Oh nothing." she waved it off.

"Right... so why are you and Rouge rivals?"

"Because she steals all the jewery," Wave replied. "The gems should belong to me!"

The host shook her head. Another gem fanatic. "So, Wave, why are you such a bitch?"

"What? I am _not_ a bitch!"

"Yes you are," the host insisted. "You like to insult everyone because you think it's cool or something," the host said. "You should be ashamed of yourself and why did you steal Blazes colors?"

"I _didn't_ steal Blazes colors!"

"Yes you _did_! She's purple and white with some red and you are purple and white with some red," the host pointed out then sniffed. "I hope she burns you for stealing her colors."

"I _didn't steal her colors_!"

"Oh yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Ah hah!" a voice behind the swallow exclaimed. "I finally found you!"

Wave turned around as the host stared. Blaze stood behind Wave with firey hands. "You will _pay_ for stealing my colors!"

"Wait!" Wave exclaimed, getting out of her seat. "It wasn't my fault! Blame Sega! They're the ones who gave me my colors! It's not my fault!"

"Oh really?" Blaze asked, calming slightly. 'Then they shall Buuuuuuuuuuuurn!" she ran off to burn down the Sega Sonic Team.

Wave sighed in relief and the host continued her interview. "So Wave, do you think you're smarter than Tails?"

"I don't think I am I know I am!" she said smugly.

"Sure you are," the host said sarcasticly. "Annd my mother eats Pigeons for breakfast."

"Ew!! How could your mother do such a thing?!" Wave gasped.

The host shook her head. "She's hopeless." she mutttered then looked up at the bird. "Where are your brains anyway? Your rear?"

"No they're in my head."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"You're mean!"

"So are you."

"_I_ have my reasons."

"And what are they?"

"None of your business."

"Okay then," the host said, aiming a kick at Wave. "If you don't wanna talk to me get your sorry butt off that couch!"

"No, this sofa is comfy," Wave said getting comfortable.

The host got up and loomed over her. "Get off the sofa before I rip out those fake eyelases of yours and stuff them up your nose!" she growled.

When Wave still didn't move the host grabbed the bird's eyelashes and began yanking on them. "GET OFF THE COUCH!"

"NO! OW OWOOWOWOWOWW!" the bird screeched flailing her arms as she tried to get away.

"YESYEYEYEYEEYEYEEESSSS!" the host roared.

Suddenly security came into the room and grabbed Wave and the host separating them. As they drug Wave away the manager walked up to the host and said. "If you don't reframe from beating up all your guests we will have to cancel, understand."

The host nodded. 'Understood." she said before she stuck out her tongue at him behind his back.

_A/N_

_Sorry I took so long to update. I ran out of ideas. _


	36. Dark Oak

CHAPTER 36 DARK OAK

After the host signed a contract that prohibited her from beating up on the guests she decided it was time to continue. She climbed back into her chair and said. "Our next guest is that creepy black Metarex dude that reminds me of Megatron and hates animals. Please welcome Dark Oak!"

The crowed apploded as Dark Oak came out of the guest lounge and sat down on the sofa. He was so big the host had to look up at him to talk. "Hello Dark Oak," she said.

"Hello," he said back.

"Dark Oak," the host said. "Do you realize your actual form looks a lot like a half empty bean bag?"

"What?"

"Yeah," the host said. "I saw what you look like under that armor. You look like a bean bag toy that lost half of its beans."

"I do not!"

"Well you remind me of Megatron," the host said, ignoring him. "Yah, you and your group of robots are like an awful rip off of the Decepticons."

"We are not!"

"Yes you are!" the host shot back. "You and your party of armor wearing, half empty bean bags, act just like Decepticons. Hehehehe. You looking for the All Spark as well?"

"What is the All Spark?"

"Nevermind." the host grinned. "Did you know the name Planet Egg sounds corny?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing really," the host said. "But it makes me think that the planet laid an egg and it's going to hatch and make a new planet." she grinned. "I wonder if the moon is the plants baby."

"What? you're crazy!"

"Not as crazy as you, Megatron."

"I'M NOT MEGATRON!"

"Then you're his half brother!"

"No I'm not!"

"Pffft!" the host stuck out her tongue. "Why do you hate living things?"

"I don't hate living thing," Dark Oak told her.

"Sure seems like it."

"I only hate certain living things. Living things that aren't plants."

"Why?"

"Because you're all polluters."

"Since when do animals pollute?"

"They dump their toxic waste on the plants."

"It's not going to hurt you."

"So you say..."

The host yawned. "This isn't going anywhere."

"Well you wanted to interview me."

"Now I'm regretting it." the host commented. "I can only ask Decepticon questions. Hmm... do you like Brittany Spears?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "Why would you think that?"

"I dunno. I thought you might have a picture of her in-"

"Enough!" he said, getting up. "I'm not about to-"

"Why are you getting so flustered?" the host asked, raising an eyebrow. "_Do_ you have a picture of her?"

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes?"

"Positive?"

"Yes!" he stomped toward the exit. "I'm not going to endure anymore of this! When I get all the planet eggs this planets going to go first!"

"Riiiiiight."

_A/N_

_I dunno. I haven't updated in awhile. I had to think of something! Blame Wikipedia. They're the one who said the Metarex are like the Decepticons. _


	37. Metal Sonic

**I apologize for taking so long to update. **

CHAPTER 37 Metal Sonic

After a long break of six months the host returned to the studio to once again interview Sonic characters. She stepped onto the stage and looked up at the expectant audience. "Hi!" she called to them, waving. "Sorry for the long wait. I got distracted."

The audience was forgiving so the host sat down in her chair and began. "Hello and welcome back to the insane fanfiction talk show. I once again apologize for the long wait and will say that we hope to get this up and running once more." the audience cheered and the host continued. "Our next guest is that insane robot copy of Sonic the hedgehog who gets a makeover and turned into a psychotic robot dragon. Please welcome Metal Sonic!"

The crowd cheered as the blue hedgehog robot came out of the guest lounge and headed toward the stage. Once he was seated on the guest couch the host began. "Hey, Metal Sonic, how's it going?"

"Sucky," he replied, folding his arms.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well I'm in that new Sonic game Sonic Drive 2 or something and I don't have a speaking role," he complained. "This is almost as bad as me not being allowed to be in the anime."

"So?" the host asked. "You only have a speaking role in Sonic Heroes anyway.. and at the end of the Sonic Movie."

"I know," he said. "But wouldn't people learn from that? Don't they realize I can talk? or that I am popular enough to be in the anime. It's not fair! Instead they replace me with two deformed garbage cans! They're not even in the games!"

"If I was you I'd be happy about that," the host said. "Since 4Kids is dubbing the games now and the anime. You would have probably ended up with a dork voice. It might have even sounded like the one they gave Gamma and his brothers. and don't you remember how horrible the anime was anyway?"

Metal Sonic thought about that a moment then got scared. "Oye," he said. 'I never thought of it that way. I guess I should be happy I have no voice and that I wasn't in the anime."

"Exactly," the host said, smirking. "So Metal Sonic, why are you crazy?"

"What?"

"Are you, Galvatronize, spazzoid, going to the funny farm, crazy?" the host asked.

"No," he replied. "and who's Galvatron?"

"Not important. So you're not crazy? Not even a little bit?"

"No."

"You haven't even had a insane thought, like putting bologna in Eggman's underpants?" the host questioned.

"What?!"

"Nevermind," the host thought a moment then asked. "So who do you think is the real Sonic? You or Sonic?"

"Me."

"Then why did you say you were created with the sole purpose of killing Sonic?" the host wanted to know. "Wouldn't that mean that Sonic is real and you're fake?"

"Uh..."

"It just doesn't seem to make sense that you say he's your copy then you say you were created to destroy him," the host went on. "Kinda makes you sound like a retard."

"I'm not a retard."

"Well that was retarded," the host said.

"Whatever."

"What did you think of Sonic's answer when you asked him why you couldn't defeat him in Sonic Heroes?" the host wanted to know.

"I thought it was stupid!" he replied after thinking back. "I mean what kind of answer is "Because we're Sonic heroes'? I mean... Good grief!"

"Well I didn't like the answer that much either," the host told him. "I was hoping for something good but all we got was a cheesy answer."

"Sonic is brain damaged," Metal Sonic said.

"Well I wouldn't say brain damaged," the host said thoughtfully. "A little hyperactive but not brain damaged."

"I think he's brain damaged."

"Yeah whatever," the host said. "So can you turn into your dragon form on command or do you have to eat a lot of sugar before you do?"

"What does consuming sugar have to do with my ability to turn into Metal Overlord?" he wanted to know.

"I dunno," the host said. "I just noticed you scanned the data of a lot of hyperactive sugar addicted people in Sonic Heroes. Won't that make you go into a overload? I mean, sugar in machines gas tanks is a bad thing."

"I _never_ inject myself with sugar," Metal Sonic snapped. "Just because the people I scanned might like sugar doesn't mean I absorbed sugar into my super structure."

"It really would have been a mess if you had," the host snorted. "I bet your head would have exploded and your body would be walking around without a head. hehehe."

"You're nuts!"

"Aren't we all?"

"No we're not."

"How would you feel if Eggman created a Metal Amy?"

"Why are you asking me that?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Because I want to know how you'd feel about that," the host said. "I mean the real Amy stalks Sonic and tries to marry him every chance she gets and I was wondering if a robot version of her would be the same way."

"I hope not," Metal Sonic said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because the real Amy already stalks me."

"Why?"

"She must think I'm Sonic or she needs glasses," the robot replied.

"Yeah, she probably needs glasses," the host agreed, nodding. "I bet she'd glomp a cactus if it was shaped like Sonic."

"A cactus?" Metal Sonic snorted.

"Why not?"

"I'd like to see that."

"So would I," the host grinned. "How would you feel if I told you that people pair you up with Sonic?"

"They _what_?!" Metal Sonic looked horrified at the idea. "Why would anybody want to do that?"

"Because they think that hate is surpressed love," the host replied, shrugging. "Some fans can't get it through their heads that you want to kill Sonic because you don't like him. They think that you love him and you're killing him because of that," the host grinned. "Kinda like how Karasu tries to kill Kurama on Yu Yu Hakusho because he loves him.."

"Some people have really sick minds," Metal Sonic said, glaring at the host.

The host put up her hands. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "I don't want you with him. I prefer you with Amy."

"WHAT!?" he roared, getting up and looming over the host. 'That's just as bad!"

The host coward under his stare and put up her hands to protect herself. "Well do you hate Amy?"

"No, but I find her extremely annoying."

"So does half the Sonic fanbase," the host said. "But wouldn't you rather have her paired up with you that the person whose guts you hate?"

Metal Sonic thought about that a moment then said. "No, I'd rather not be paired up with anybody because I'm a robot and that makes me completely uncompatable"

"Clearly you've never watched the Transformers," the host said.

"What is that?"

"It's a show about robots that go around banging each other."

"It is?" Metal Sonic looked weirded out. "For real?"

The host snorted in laughter. "No," she said. "They're robots. They have no way of banging each other... unless you read sticky fics."

"Eh?"

"Nevermind," the host said shaking her head.

Metal Sonic sat down. "Maybe I should look that up," he said thoughtfully.

"Go ahead but avoid looking up fanart and fanfics on the subject," she said.

"Why?'

"Let me just say it's almost like you being paired up with Sonic," she replied.

"Ick!"

"Fantards can be very crazy sometimes," the host said, grinning.

"Indeed." he agreed.

_A/N_

_Once again I apologize for taking so long to update. I was out of inspiration for the longest time and only got a small idea recently. I didn't want to do Metal Sonic so soon but he's the only guy that I remember details from. Sorry if this chapter stank. I think I lost my touch. Maybe it'll come back to me soon. _


	38. Helen

**Reading over the reviews I noticed a lot of them are funnier than my fic. XD I enjoy reading over my reviews. Now before anybody says another thing about my hatred for the 4Kids voice actors... GET OVER IT! I'm gonna hate them till I die! If you compare Shadow's old voice with his new you'll see that his old voice was millions of times hotter and better. His new voice makes him sound like a whiny emo crybaby. That's all I'm gonna say for now and please stop asking me to do that stupid genie. I'll do Shara when I get the inspiration. You can't force me to do somebody I have no inspiration to do. Please be patient. Also I have no intention of doing Maria because if I do him I'll have to do the other Mario people and I HATE Maria and all his games.**

Chapter 38 Helen

After Metal Sonic went off to look for Sonic to challenge him to another fight the host got a drink of water then returned to her chair. "Welcome back to the show," she said, smiling into the camera. "Our next guest is that blond girl who needs a wheelchair that looks like Maria though she doesn't ever meet Shadow and should have. Please welcome Helen!"

The audience cheered as the girl came out of the guest lounge and steered her wheelchair up onto the stage. Since she was already seated the host didn't offer her a seat on the couch. "Hey, Helen," the host said, smiling at her.

"Hi," the girl said.

"How are you today?"

"I'm fine."

"You know what?' the host asked.

"What?"

"You're one of the few characters on Sonic X that I like and don't have a grumble about their dub voice," the host said.

"Thanks.. uh what do you mean by don't have a grumble about my dub voice?" she asked. "Don't you like them?"

"No," the host replied. "Most of them stink like ten week old crap filled diapers. Yours is actually nice. Did anyone tell you you look like Maria Robotnick?"

"Who is Maria Robotnick?"

"Shadow's best friend."

"Who is Shadow?"

"A black hedgehog that people think looks like Sonic though he doesn't."

"Oh."

"Do you think that you should have been the person the Sonic characters lived with instead of Chris?"

"I don't know," Helen said. "That might have worked. I mean; How many of use can relate to a rich kid?"

"Now many can relate to the whole.. 'My parent don't spend any time with me and I'm lonely blah blah blah' bit," the host admitted. "I'm not dissing people who are like that but that sort of thing could have been put into the empathy range without the kid being disgustingly rich."

"Well I won't say anything bad about my friends but I guess you're right," she agreed.

"But you do look a lot like Maria." the host said again. "You and Shadow should have met. That would have made an interesting episode. I mean he could see you and think you're Maria's re-incarnation or something."

"Didn't you write a story like that already?"

"Yeah but I might have to re-edit it," the host said, thoughtfully. "Not enough detail and too many spelling and grammer mistakes."

"Are you going to?"

"Someday," the host said. "Hey, who's interviewing who here?"

"You're interviewing me but I wanted to know about your fic," Helen said.

"If you want to know about it read it," the host said. "And I'm not mentioning it anymore. I'm against advertizing fics in other fics. It makes me sound like I'm desperate for reviews or something." the host snorted. "Right now I don't want anyone reading it. Not until I re-edit the crazy thing."

"What about the sequel?"

"Will you stop interviewing me already!?" the host shouted. "I'm not telling anything else about the story or the sequel that I'm probably not even going to do because I don't have inspiration anyway-" the host smacked her forehead. "there I go again. I don't want to advertize. Stop asking questions and just read it already."

"Okay then I will." Helen turned to go.

"Not right now!" the host called after her. "We're not done with the interview yet!"

"Oh, I thought we were," the girl said, turning back to the host. "What else do you want to know?"

"Do yo think you should have gotten more screen time on the show?" the host asked.

"Maybe a little more," she replied, thoughtfully. "I'm kinda sad that I didn't but..."

"I think you should have," the host said. "In fact Shadow should have taken you to the ARK."

Helen looked weirded out. "Okay..." she said.

"Do you like the fact that Chris and you become an item later on in the series?" the host asked.

"Not really," the girl replied. "I mean before then he didn't even give me the time of day and all of a sudden we're dating? Then he goes off on his own to Sonic's world and makes sure nobody but him knows the password and can go through. What kind of love is that?"

"I don't know," the host said. "But I personally think you're too good for him."

"I don't know about that."

"Does your wheelchair have four wheel drive?" the host asked.

"What?"

"Does your wheelchair have four wheel drive?" the host repeated herself. "Was it made like those four wheeler dirt bikes? Can it go smoothly on any kind of terrain?"

"I don't know."

"How do you feel if Sonic told you he was in love with you?"

Helen looked scared. "I hope he doesn't," she said.

"Why not?"

"Because he's a hedgehog and I'm a human."

"Oh. How would you feel if Shadow started stalking you because you look like Maria."

"You're going to obsess with that fact aren't you?"

"Yep," the host said. "It's obvious and if anyone disagrees with me they need glasses."

"_I_ disagree with you."

"Then you're the only one," the host said. "You look more like Maria than Chris. Chris looks like a Sora wannabee and looks about as close to Maria as I do and I look nothing like Maria."

"Neither does he," she said. "and if he did I'd think something was wrong."

"He's a girly boy."

"Right..."

"So can I take a ride in your wheelchair?"

"No."

"What's your last name."

"I was never told."

"That sucks," the host said. "I guess I'll have to take a guess. Hendricks."

Helen made a face. "Ick. I hope not."

"Hehehe. So do I." the host agreed. "and having said that-"

Suddenly the door to the guest lounge opened a Shadow came running out of the room. He dashed to the stage and jumped at Helen landing on top of her and glomping her. "MARIA!" he exclaimed, hugging her tight. "You've come back to me!"

"Eek!" the girl exclaimed, trying to get free of Shadow's iron grasp. "Help! Get him off me!"

"MARIA!" Shadow squealed like a nut case. "I'll never leave you again."

"I'm _not _Maria! I'm Helen!"

"MARIA!"

Helen cast a pleading look at the host who was grinning like an idiot at this interesting development. "Help me!" she exclaimed. "Don't just sit there grinning! Get him off me!"

The host frowned but gave in. "Oh all right." she got up and walked over to Shadow tapping him on the shoulder.

"What?" he demanded, looking at yhe host in annoyance.

"That's not Maria," she said.

He stared. "It's not?"

"Nope," the host said, shaking her head.

He looked at the girl. "Then _who_ is it?"

"Her name's Helen," the host explained.

"Oh." Helen's face flared with embarressment. He looked at the girl. "Sorry."

"It's all right," the girl said, sounding unsure."

Shadow let her go and ran out of the studio red as a tomato. The host sat down, grinning. "And now you have met Shadow."

Helen was still staring after him. "I'm kinda glad I never met him now," she said. "He's crazy!"

_A/N_

_lol couldn't resist. _

_I finally did Helen. I don't think I did any mocking of her since there's really nothing about her to make fun of and if I say anything mean about her people will be offended because she's handicapped and too nice to mock. lol I won't be so nice to the next person. hehehehe Yes I did write a fic about Shadow and Helen but I have to re-edit it because it's full of spelling errors. _


	39. Tikal

CHAPTER 39 TIKAL (I thought I already did her)

After a very Looooong break the host decided to try up bring the fic back because so many new sonic characters have been created and whether she knows anything about them or not she decided to interview them. Because she has no time to go on wikipedia to do research and because she has no intention of getting the games anyway, she decided to interview a character she knows a lot of stuff about. Here we go

"Okay welcome back to the show," the host said, smiling into the camera. "Last time we meant I believe I interviewed Helen. Having said that I would like to welcome our next guest. She's a cute little echidna who loves Chao and water creatures and doesn't have a real body and floats around in a ball of light like a spark without a body. Please welcome Princess Tikal!"

The crowd cheered as Tikal came into the studio and sat down on the sofa.  
"Hello, Tikal," the host said.

"Hello," she greeted her back.

"How are you today?"

"Okay"

"Good let's begin... how do you like being a flying pixy thing?"

"Flying pixie thing? What do you mean?"

"Oh you know. When you float around as a flying ball of light and scare the living daylights out of your friends," the host explained. "When you were freed from the Master Emerald and you were like the light that lit our darkest hour. Like Tinkerbell."

"Light our darkest hour?"

"Yeah, like the Matrix of leadership only you don't decide who is the leader of the Autobots."

"What are you talking about?"

The host realized she was rambling. "Oh sorry. Where was it?'

"You were asking me why I'm a pixy."

"You are?"

"No!"

"Oh, okay then... have you ever poured lime green jelliton powder in Chaos fountain while he was sleeping?"

Tikal looked horrified at the very suggestion. "Absolutely not!"

"Are you sure about that? I mean the way he moves he acts like he's got pre-set jello in his body."

"He does not!"

"Yes he does.." the host snorted. "That must be uncomfortable having a jello body."

"Don't make fun of Chaos."

"Why not?"

"Because it's mean."

"Oh sheesh sorry," the host said. 'If I knew you were that touche about your boyfriend I'd have-"

"Boyfriend?" she looked confused.

"Yeah, like isn't Chaos your boyfriend?"

"Where did you get such an idea?" Tikal demanded. "He's made of water."

"Yeah I bet sex is very uncomfortable.....," the host muttered. "I mean with a watery-"

Tikal was mortified at the very idea, "Don't even say it!"

"Oh, man you've got some temper you know that? I was kidding."

Tikal folded her arms. "I don't find that funny," she informed her.

"Okay fine, Tiko," the host said. "We'll talk about something else."

'Tiko?"

"Well that's your name in Sonic X," the host explained. "Or at least it sounded like Tiko. At least you had a nice voice.."

Tikal slapped her face. "Oh boy... Tiko... what will they think of next?"

"Well at least you don't sound like Yugi from Yu-gi-oh," the host pointed out. "or like you're riding a roller coaster, or like you've been sucking down a million gallons of helium."

"Okay I get your point."

"So.... do you like monkeys?"

"Not really."

"If I poured chocolate pudding powder into Chaos water fountain would he think it was crap and blame it on you?"

Tikal stared at the host. "What?!"

"I mean chocolate pudding _does_ look a bit like baby crap and-"

'Ew!"

"Hey you're not eating it."

Tikal stared at her like she had just lost her mind. "What are you talking about?'

"Pudding."

"Yeah that you want to pour into Chaos fountain."

'What you wanna do it?'

"No!"

"Okay changing the subject so are you really related to Knuckles?'

"I'm not aware of it if I am."

"Really? I mean in the comics you are and you're his grandmother even though you have like four hundred years between yourselves. Was he like born in your time then pushed through a portal and sent to the present with the sparkly emerald though you were only fourteen when you and Chaos got trapped in the emerald and you weren't even married and didn't have any children."

"Sounds like somebody got confused along the way."

"Yeah they probably did."

"Sounds like it."

"So do you like pancakes?"

"No."

"How about rum? You like rum? Is that why the rum is gone?"

"What?"

The host stared the female echidna up and down, studying her. "You wouldn't make a good pirate anyway."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"Nevermind I was rambling," the host said then added. "Why_ is _the rum gone?"

Tikal had had enough. 'That's it!" she exclaimed. "I'm sick of this. I'm leaving. You can't even stay on one topic."

"I'm sorry," the host said. "But _why _is the rum gone?"

"Don't ask me! I have no idea!" the annoyed female echinda stomped out of the studio. "Rum indeed! Lime Jello! Chocolate Pudding!"

"Heh I guess she's not as sweet as everyone thought," the host commented, watching the poor flabbergasted princess make her way out.. "Maybe I should have asked her about Fleetway instead."

_A/N_

_Tikal is very hard to poke fun at Tikal that's why I'm getting her out of the way right now._


	40. Ella

_**I do not like how this chapter came out. **_

CHAPTER 40 ELLA

After another long break the host decided the show must go on. She went to the bathroom and returned to the studio. Half of the audience were snoring their heads off from boredom while the other half were on their iphones, yapping in up with their geeky friends..

"Ah heh." the host cleared her throat to get attention.

She was ignored.

"HEY!" she yelled, grabbing a megaphone. "I'm back!"

Still nothing.

"YO! If you don't pay attention to me right now I'm gonna drop half set jello on you!"

Finally the audience paid attention. The ones awake roused the sleepers. "Good," the host said glad she now had their attention. "Now let's go. Our next guest is that fat house keeper who sounds like she had a sex change. Please welcome Ella!"

"What?!" one of the people shouted, standing up. "You mean you woke me up just to introduce tat fat slob!" he started moving. "I'm outta here!"

"Sit down!" the host shouted. "Megatron!"

Suddenly a giant gray robot appeared out of nowhere and pointed his arm canon in the person's face. "I would sit down if I were you," he said.

The poor man complied. "That's better." Megatron moved his cannon away and stepped out of the studio.

"Thank you!" the host called after him.

"Don't contact me again!" the Decepticon snapped.

"Jerk." the host pouted for a moment then said. 'All right, Ella. You can come out now."

The fat house keeper stepped out of the guest lounge and climbed onto the stage. She sat down on the couch across from the host. "Hello, young lady."

"Hello, Ella," the host said, grinning. "So is it true. Are you really a man?"

Ella blinked. "What?"

"You know," the host said. "You sound like a guy. Were you once a guy named Elmer?"

"No!" the maid said indignantly. "I was not!"

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay..." the host thought for a moment then asked. "So tell me. Do you do the Mexican Hat Dance in your spare time?"

"I don't even know that the Mexican Hat Dance is."

"Is a dance where you skip around a mexican hat on the floor."

"Oh. Then no."

"Did you and Tanaka ever make out in your bosses bathroom?"

Ella stared at the host. "I've never made out with anybody!"

"Of course not. you're too ugly."

"I am _not_ ugly!"

"Yes you are. You're fat and ugly and look like a clown." the host leaned forehead and poked her in the face. "Do you have to wear so much lipstick?"

Ella swatted her hand away. "Stop that, you little brat!"

"Whoa! get aload of those man hands!" the host exclaimed. "I bet you could beat a gorilla with those things!"

"I could not!"

"Yeah cuz you're a woman and you're weak."

"Weak?!" Ella glared at her. 'I'll show you weak!" she picked up the coffe table and broke it in half with her bare hands. "Ha! How's that for weak?"

"SECURITY!"

_A/N_

_Short sweet and stupid. I think I'm losing my touch. _

_I am running out of people I know about now. If things get too weird I might have to quite. I chose Ella cuz nobody else came to mind. She's not that interesting though. _


	41. QUITING!

Due to the lack of motivation and the fact that my work in this story has gone from enjoyable to mechanical I am quitting this story. I am very sorry but I don't feel inclined to work on this anymore. I thank you for reading this and enjoying it.

Please don't be angry. Have a nice day.


End file.
